My wife and i don't have children and we both are working.

What made you stay/return to your marriage when you were completely self sufficient??

I ask this because I understand the excitement my wife must have felt while in her affair. Likely similar to the feelings of any new relationship.

Now that the affair is over my greatest fear is her possiable desire to continue with her new found freedom and continue with her new found lifestyle. Or at least the lifestyle many men will be more than happy to provide her to at least get what they want.

I can't compete with the expense accounts of the men that work within my wifes industry.

I know this is a bit of a self esteem question but before the affair the horse was in the barn so to speak and now that she's out why return before exploring the country side.

Hi GG007,

some background: H & I do not have children. I make more $ than my H, and the men I work with have large expense accounts.

On d-day I was ready for divorce. He OBVIOUSLY didnt need me.

I asked him time and time again, why did he want to stay with me. He said he's never been so happy as when he was with me.

I'm guessing you didnt rescue your wife from an island. She's known that she could support herself financially. (I hope you dont think the only reason women marry is so they can be financially supported.)

(Being financially independant does limit the amount of stuff women put up with: my mom would have left my dad in the 60's if she could have afforded to do so).

But, I think women want to be needed and loved, yes, even if they have a good job.

The guys with expense accts dont love her. They may try to impress her, but they're trying to impress lots of women, just see who bites. They are concerned with themselves and their image, not her happiness.

Also remember, lots of MEN return to marriages, and we assume they are self sufficient. They are apparently getting more from the relationship than money. Heck, you're staying, after her A, and that's not financial, right?

The thrill of a new relationship is something that can get either men or women.

Hopefully, any positives from the new relationship has been squashed by the devistation caused by the A. (Medium thrill + Extream Heartache and trauma = BAD!! lets not do that again).

I left my first husband when I was POOR! I was worried that I would not make ends meet. He though he was in like flynn, that I could never leave him.

Concentrate on the real caring, not the $. You wouldnt want her if she was just there for financial reasons, right? Now you know, absolutley, that she's with you cause she wants to be. Right? - Dru