My husband disclosed to me 2 months ago about his 3.5 month affair. He said that he was very depressed, felt alienated from talking to me because we were fighting a lot etc etc.

He told me he got into the affair because OW just listened to him, did not judge him, did not interfere with her thoughts, she was very attracted to him and he connected with her emotionally and physically.

He told me that he never once thought of leaving me for her (yet he was unhappy with our relationship the way it was) and that he did not love her. He walked away from her a month prior to telling me about the A. He saw her one time after this and reiterated that he was staying with me and was happy with this.

My question is, is it possible to connect with someone on that level and not love them?? She was there when he felt I was not (I admit, I caused some fights as did he and some weekends was glad to see him go out with friends)

He and I got in a very heated fight on Sunday night because he was asked to fill in for a date with a friend to a wedding and OW will be a guest there. I blew a gasgit (sp??) and told him that was completely sick. I really laid into him not respecting me enough to tell me that he wanted to go and that it was disrespectful to want to go in the 1st place cause I always knew OW would be there...she is an acquaintance of a good friend of mine. (The person that is getting married is a friend he has been fighting with and he wanted to go so he could mend fences. He told me he did not know OW was going- I met OW through person getting married and I can't understand how he could not know that OW would be at this wedding.)

Any feedback around this would be really appreciated. H & I made up over that fight Sunday and he was very apologetic as was I because I really did blow my cool.

Thanks
H.