Thanks everbody

I don't have much time to reply, but will get back later.

Really think H has called. He seems too okay. Staying on the treadmill for now.

You're all right about me contacting her. She isn't worth my breath.

Marykat

I want to do a quick (yeah right) for all. It's had to post with H this week on leave. He's starting to wonder what I'm doing on the computer. Maybe he thinks I'm in an internet A. Too funny!

This weekend I've been concerned that H has called ow. He's seemed too okay. He's said there's been NC. Only they know.

Sunday morning he seemed preoccupied and a little down. I've never been so happy to see him unhappy. That afternoon we drove over to a little village on one of the wine roads here. We did a few tastings, bought a bottle of wine and sat outside. After a little wine, he said yesterday was a hard day for him. He didn't say specifically why. It's been 8 days since he told her NC. He told me he received an email from her last week. She requested that he not call again. She wants to move on. He said it was short just 5 sentences or so. He said he didn't respond.

Who knows what's really going on. Maybe he's called, maybe there's been mail.

I've decided not to nag and ask more about it. I didn't demand to see the email. I reminded him that ultimately the success/failure of our M is up to him based on him completely ending it with her.

I told him that he seemed to be doing okay. It was only Sunday that I could tell he seemed stressed. He said he's been a basket case and it's been hard. He's wanted to call and has actually dialed the number and hung up.

Day by day. I hope he's able to get through this. Time............ Hope I'm not being suckered again.

MK

MK - one word, Withdrawal. It sounds like classic withdrawal symptoms that will get worse before they get better.

That he is even telling you about the email and his aborted attempts to dial is very positive. He is acknowledging his weakness and trusting you enough to tell you something that he knows you will not like. Your response is critical to keeping him opening up to you.

So when you feel the need to scream, do it here. You are getting what you want, even though going through the process is painful to you also. But remain calm and supportive. Reinforce the new communication "safety zone" and his ability to say something that might be painful to you.

God bless. Stay the course.

MK,

Hi. Am back. Went to the beach with family for a week. Then, my sister was here for a few days and couldn't really do much but lurk. Did read what has been going on, though. You have been in my prayers. Are things still progressing?

What is going on now? I wish you would go to recovery. There are lots of people to help you over there. I know you don't think you should be there, but if he is willing to work on the M, and you are, then you do have recovery, right? Just worried that you might get kind of lost over here.

Think it over, OK?

Heavens

MK - how are you doing?

Marykat????????????

How are you?

tracey

Wow everybody, Thanks for checking on me! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />

I'm doing okay. It's still a little hard to post with kids and H at home all day. Don't want the kids or H reading over my shoulder. With only one computer someone else always wants on. Kids and H go back to school/work next week.

Think I'll take Heavens and FH advice and move back over to recovery. Maybe it's early, but why not?

Don't know if H has contacted/heard from ow. I haven't asked and he hasn't volunteered anything. I've spent the last 2 days pushing down the anger and wondering why I'm still here. Why am I trying to save something he didn't thinkk was anything special. I'm trying not to vent. But doesn't he need to know how angry I still am.

Have to be short.

Look for me next week on recovery board.

Thanks all

MK

Yea, she is back.

Vent away, that is what MB is for. Let it all out. Yes, why shouldn't he see how hurt you are? Just be careful with the LB's bc then he won't talk or open up to you if he doesn't feel safe and that he will get beat up all the time.

One thing my MC had to beat ME over the head with was to "allow" myself to BE vulnerable. To feel and show him my feelings. I had gotten very good at hiding them. Except the anger. That was all I felt safe revealing to FWH so he saw me as angry all the time (set up his unhappiness factor that lead to the A). It is a fine line, you are hurt, but you don't want to be a punishing, angry b**** all the time, shoving him out the door. Communication is one of the biggest lessons that I have learned on this board. HOW to communicate to my H.

Figured you had the others around. Me too. I have to take a number to get on my computer. Can't wait until they start school. YEAH. Hubby is out of town this weekend and I even got on the Ladies chat last night. That was fun. Chatted with HelenWheels and Calypso. It was a first for me.

MK, just think you'll get more support over there. Even if you feel as though you are in a tentative recovery right now, if he says he wants to stay and you want the M, technically, that is recovery, I think. I know, let's go and debate it over on REcovery. LOL.

Will be looking for you. Your spirits sound good. Take care of YOU . Most important thing. God bless.

Heavens

nice to hear back form oyu girl!

See you on recovery!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

tracey