Heres a quick recap of my life,

My wife confessed and left mid march to work on relationship with married man.

I plan A when I can. We talk 1-2 week and even have dinner now and then.

end of May OM tells my wife he's leaving her to work on his marriage.

My WW goes no contact on me as she needs space.

6 weeks go buy and finaly when she's picking up mail from mail box WW knocks on door to see how I'm doing. Our 10 minute exchange is great. Smiles, laughs, I flirt - she blushes etc.

It's now been 2 more weeks and I have not heard from her again.

Is she still in the fog? Is she still waiting for him? Why is she keeping me in no contact?

This is so confusing.

Here's my best guess ....

They are trying to remain "friends" while he is "working" on his marriage.

They are still feeding their addiction with some level of contact.

She's not hit bottom yet.

Hold on to yourself. This isn't over.

Pep

pepperband,

I was thinking that was a possability.

Do you think I should continue to respect my wifes request for space and stay no-contact or should I just send a hello email?

If my wife does contact me should I ask her if she's still in contact with him?

Should I call the OM wife and do some fact finding as I have not talked to her since the affair was supose to be over 8 weeks ago?. My wife hates the fact that I talk to the OM wife.

My guess the reason that she hates you talking to the OM's wife is because you are able to uncover the truth about what is going on instead of being left in the dark. I would think that Too Much Coffee is correct that your wife is still in contact with him. I say call the OM's wife and find out what is going on. I would rather have too much information than not enough. It also sounds like your wife may be viewing you as the doorprize if the OM truly does dumps her. Maybe if she would realize that she may lose you also she would think twice the way she is dealing with you.
If she knows you will always be Mr. Safety net for her then she will naturally take you for granted and knows that she does not have to try hard to get you back when and if she wants to do that. In short it is not very appealing. I wish you luck.

Well I taked to the OM wife last night and my suspisions were mostly confirmed. Her husband has not been working on there relationship. In fact all he really told my wife 8 weeks ago was he needed time and space.

It looks as though there original plan of leaving there spouses and laying low while weathering the storm of the affair being exposed is in full swing.

My WW and the other man are living in a world that involves some family, recently new friends and each other. At this point most of the past has been left behind.

It's so hard and painfull to accept that our marriage and myself in the end ment so little to my wife.

I'm beginning to feel like I'm at a cross road of waiting or moving on and dating. I'm so confused.

Join the club GoodGuy...my WS has been going back and forth for almost one year. Do you know why? Because I allowed him. I am currently in a Plan B where there is no contact. Are there any signs of things changing; not that I have seen thus far. I too feel I'm at a crossroads. If I choose to go on and meet someone and he comes to his senses, was I too hasty. I have been offered many times to out for dinner, drinks, movies, concerts, etc., but I keep politely declining. On the other hand, I do not want to keep declining and holding out for something that may never come to fruitition. I'm just as confused, as you will find many betrayed spouses are. It is almost like our lives are put on hold. We fight our conscious; what is the right thing to do? I'm not waiting per se, but in reality I am. Each time I fuss over him, his OW, etc., I am waiting. But, then again, like I said before, if I do move on, maybe I'm losing.

Do you want to stay in Plan A?

What's your thinking sir?

Love,

Pep