I'd like to post my thoughts on jealousy and would be interested in anyone else's take on it's usefulness, purpose, or harm w/in a relationship.

jealousy can be a helpful sign that your partner is no longer respecting the sacredness of your exclusive commitment to one another (if that is what you have, if not why be jealous?). They could possibly weighing their options outside the relationship, even if only on a subconcious level, the significant other is probably very perceptive to picking up on these sort of signals, since in all reality, they are probably the same signals the partner used to attract them in the 1st place.

In other words, one person may be overstepping boundaries that have been or should have been clearly communicated earlier on in the relationship in order to establish what each expects from a relationship and if feelings of this nature persist, maybe this relationship is not meant to be.

my perception of the green-eyed monster today, tomorrow i may be wearing different colored glasses.

dayfuller

Agree with you utterly. Sometimes jealousy is the weird and extreme reaction of possessiveness of one towards another.

But usually, there are two other kinds I've observed: 1) miscommunication. One person is sending signals that the other misreads. This can usually be straightened out with communication and cooperation. I.e., if your H goes nuts when you wear short skirts -- why would you wear them? 2) a subliminal desire to check out new options by the other. When confronted, this usually meets with waves of denial and accusations of "jealousy." The person provoking the jealousy wants to end the relationship on their terms, when they are ready; the "jealous-ee" knows their days are numbered, but the relationship isn't "over" yet so that it's way too soon to cut the cord. This leaves them angry and trapped.