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Joined: Mar 2003
Posts: 2,903
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Joined: Mar 2003
Posts: 2,903 |
Haven't heard from you in awhile, and I haven't been on.
FWH finally wrote the N/C letter, we mailed it, he's seeing a counselor, started on new anti-d's, has been spending more time with us, and is being more honest (near as I can tell). He moved back in the beginning of August.
Been thinking about you wondering how things are going. You didn't think it would get to the point of WH moving out, but you both were getting ready for it. How's it going?
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Joined: Nov 2002
Posts: 1,520
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Joined: Nov 2002
Posts: 1,520 |
SHMI, I'm am so glad to hear things are moving forward for you. I really hope that they continue going in that direction. Just remember there are probably going to be little blips in the road but that's normal. H and I are still together, he was literally days from moving out. Had an apartment all lined up and everything. The only thing was the kids didn't know any of this. I got a phone call at work and he told me he loved me and we needed to talk when I got home. I was nervous all the way home. I got home he gave me a great big kiss and told me he didn't want to leave and if we could start over again. He asked me to put my wedding rings back on ( ihadn't been wearing them for about a month previously). I love him so much ( more now than ever) I'm sure his love for me isn't at the same level but I'm hoping it gets there very soon. This particular week has been rough (major triggers) it was in August of 2001 when OW first propersitioned him at a business conferance in Baltimore. He's trying to be understandinging and asked if this was going to happen every August and October (my d-day). I told him I wasn't abe to do my crying last year because he still had feelings for her at that point. That day he came home with roses. It's not perfect but we're both trying hard. We leave for Prince Edward Island on Friday for a weeks vacation. It's going to be nice to get away. I saw on another thread where your children started school today (that seems awfully early)my kids start last week of August. Thank-you for checking on me, I keep my eye out for you when I'm just lurching. SH01
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Joined: Mar 2003
Posts: 2,903
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Joined: Mar 2003
Posts: 2,903 |
Wahooooo!!!
That's great news!!
Yes, school started early, and doesn't get out THAT much earlier than the rest of the country. Oh well, we do get a few more days off during the year.
Life is OK, today is interesting, whenever he gets back from the counselor he is surly and sad. Today was a particularly bad day. He talked to me and acted as though he was blaming me for his bad mood...I was the nagging B$@@# that made him feel this way...
OK, granted, I have been guilty of MANY LBs (especially disrespect) but I am better now. He says I shouldn't be jealous anymore. Now, which came first, the chicken or the egg. Was I jealous because he was cheating, or was he cheating becasue he was jealous. Oh well, but many things have changed. And I take it that he comes home from the counselors in a bad mood as a good sign...he's reaching him.
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Joined: Nov 2002
Posts: 1,520
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Member
Joined: Nov 2002
Posts: 1,520 |
SHMI,
I would take H coming home in a bad mood as a good sign also. I think he's trying to deal with some things about himself that he may not like very much. It could be guilt... this is something that I know my husband is still struggling with. When I tell him I think he's a good man he gets this look in his eyes that tells me he really doesn't think he is. LBing is still something that is going to happen from time to time in all marriages. But what we can take away from this is tht we now recognize this behavoir and not do it quite as often. Just bear with your H, give him an extra hug and kiss just because...and maybe it will help lighten up his mood. The thing abut jealousy, i sometimes I don't think they understand ll the emotions that we go thru. Has our H read any of the books by the Harley's?? I gave my H SAA about 4 months ago so he could understand the emotional upheaval that we go thru. I think he's made it to the first chapter.. I know the book helped me understand some of his emotions. He's just not a reader, plus he feels like he has to hide to read it from kids and people at work). Someday maybe he will but I'm letting it go fr now. PS I envy you that school started... I'm so looking forward to having some of my days to myself back. I love my kids but sometimes it nice to have some time to myself. SH01
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