Marriage story:
http://www.marriagebuilders.com/cgi-bin/ultimatebb.cgi?ubb=get_topic;f=29;t=003374;p=2#000016I'm not sure how this would help someone...there are some points of convergence but I know that the marriage is on its way out, for lots of reasons. It has helped me to be here and take some heat, though--made me tell the whole story.
Someone (TogetherAlone, I think) posted about how the therapy-resistant WS's are like bald teenagers; the stubbornness of them...not talking about their feelings. I related to that. X-MM was like that; my H is the same way--he won't see where he needs to work, won't look at himself objectively, separate from others. And my experiences (with him, my mom, and others) tell me that you can't go thru life trying to convince people of how they need to heal, or put a lot of energy into hoping they will, or worse, badgering them or trying to "help" them. You'd just go down the black hole with them...if you allowed yourself to. And I won't.
I don't want to be with someone who I keep wishing would 'get it'. It's better to be alone. And, FWIW, this goes for X-MM too--single, married, or in between--feh! That was part of what was in the act of ending the affair: part of the message was, "Go find out who you are and who you love--I can't be your little fantasy partner any more."
Again, however, I believe that what I want is not the first, most important thing. (Look what happened when I acted on "I want..."!)
Do I make sense? Thanks, everyone.
