We are 20 mo into repair and it's been a slow up hill climb. H still works with both ow - one EA one sexual. The EA has turned away and is working on her marriage, but still attends out of town meetings with my h (I now go along and she avoids me)... the sexual one is still flirting and trying to entice my h at the office. H says he avoids her because she is so obvious and embarrassing.

I asked him to write her a letter of closure. He promised he would long ago and hasn't. He did however, start counseling, and the c is focusing on his assertive skills. Hopefully that will include boundaries.

Every time we've had a company event, my anxiety flares, I see every longing, flirty, expression on her face and notice every time they lock eyes, or raise eyebrows. and whether imagined (he says)or not, I fall apart. It sets me back and puts a wall between us. I used to hate this girl (she's 28, h is 55)but since I realized that he's not taken the step of putting closure on her actions... I clearly blame him.

In most ways we are doing fine, but his "avoidance" behavior is insulting to me. Am I being unrealistic to refuse to attend any more events. He is the boss. Is it fair to expect him not to go? Should I just go and deal with it? Should I write her a letter instead of waiting for him to, to be sure she knows I know?

I tend to feel that it's my fault for not just getting over it and letting it go. But, it doesn't seem to be over, as long as she still hasn't been told. And how can I let it go when it's thrown in my face and she's still flirting with my h and thinks I don't know.

I feel so immature because if we do go, neither one of those women better put their fat ###es on my four wheeler <img border="0" title="" alt="[Mad]" src="images/icons/mad.gif" /> How's that for mature.

How should I be handling these events? I like to play and have fun... just don't feel like I should do the MS Congeniality anymore, til he makes the path clear. Right?