D A M N I T O L
Take 2 and the rest of the world can go to hell for up to 8 hours.
ST. M O M M A'S W O R T
Plant extract that treats mom's depression by rendering preschoolers
unconscious for up to six hours.
E M P T Y N E S T R O G E N
Highly effective suppository that eliminates melancholy by enhancing the
memory of how awful they were
as teenagers and how you couldn't wait till they moved out.
P E P T O B I M B O
Liquid silicone for single women. Two full cups swallowed before an
evening out increases breast size, decreases intelligence, and improves
flirting.
D U M B E R O L
When taken with Peptobimbo, can cause dangerously low IQ, resulting in
enjoyment of country western music.
(must have been some of this in my drink... I like CW music)
F L I P I T O R
Increases life expectancy of commuters by controlling road rage and the
urge to flip off other drivers.
M E N I C I L L I N
Potent antiboyotic for older women. Increases resistance to such lines as,
"You make me want to be a better person ... can we get naked now?"
B U Y A G R A
Injectable stimulant taken prior to shopping. Increases potency and
duration of spending spree.
Extra Strength BUY-ONE-AL
When combined with Buyagra, can cause an indiscriminate buying frenzy so
severe the victim may even come home
with a Donnie Osmond CD or a book by Dr. Laura.
J A C K A S S P I R I N
Relieves headache caused by a man who can't remember your birthday,
anniversary or phone number.
A N T I - T A L K S I D E N T
A spray carried in a purse or wallet to be used on anyone too eager to
share their life stories with total strangers.
S E X C E D R I N
More effective than Excedrin in treating the, "Not now, dear, I have a
headache" syndrome.
N A G A M E N T
When administered to a husband, provides the same irritation as nagging
him all weekend,
saving the wife the time and trouble of doing it herself.drugs
