hope you won't mind me posting it here as well(posted in Divorce), maybe more people are coming here <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />

well...
decision has been made

I'm afraid of nothing... our (my son & me) finances will be the same (if not better), not affraid of moving forward (eager to have peace!), not concerned about future relationship(s) - just fine with everything...

only ONE concern: how bad impact could be on my 2 (TWO) years old son living with no dad??
(I don't believe my H will stay a good friend with me & invest a lot in upbringing our son...)

Please help me, you divorced people...
any bad consequence for children of divorced parents
better to say - how to decrease the negative impact of divorce to minimum???

tnx

I'll only give my experience and the outcome, hope it stills some of your fears.

I divorced my first H when my girls were 6 & 7, their father more or less stayed in their life for about two years. Then nothing! Eventually, my second H and I went to court, ended parental rights and he adopted them.

My oldest DD had some really good memories of her natural father, my youngest did not. After they were grown, my oldest DD did reconnect with her natural father (with my and H's blessings), shortly after she married and would have her H's support during their meeting, but sadly she ended up losing most of her remembered positive emotions because he just wasn't willing to put forth the effort.

We did not encourage our youngest DD at the time as she had too much anger and I feared that she was not ready to handle the confrontation. By the time she was older and I would have agreed...he was already making it plain that he wasn't interested in either of them.

ANYWAY...both of our girls have grown up to be successful women. They are both married, have families of their own. They are amazing! They have always known that I love them (know dad does too)...and I think children can do better in a one parent household with love and tension lessen then a hostile or unloving household with two parents. They are loving and honest and giving women. I am so proud to be able to call them my daughters!

Congratulations! (any concrete recipes? &#61514;)

I guess everything is up to us&#8230; what we can give and somehow compensate 'luck of dad'...

regards

My M did not break up from an A, but my ex-H was a deadbeat. No child support, etc. She was about 4 at the time of the separation.

I made sure she was not a wishbone in the situation. No fights about money (which means I accepted the no-child-support sitch rather than make it the subject of ongoing battles). I did not badmouth H.

I did NOT guilt trip myself about no arguments in front of the kids. I explained that just as she sometimes argues with her friends, sometimes grownups argue, too. I made sure she heard us making up, as well (on the phone).

I accept my ex for what he is. So there really isn't much to argue about. He's not going to change -- if he could, we wouldn't have divorced. If you accept people for what they are -- what is there to fight about?

She is now 15, very well adjusted, despite the recent trauma of A with H#2. Everyone admires her. Very solid, unflappable.