Please give me interpretations of what this could mean.. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Eek!]" src="images/icons/shocked.gif" />

Last night and this morning I am particularly down. My D told me our best friends envited WW out to dinner last night to celebrate WW's birthday. WW asked if she could bring OM and they said OK! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Eek!]" src="images/icons/shocked.gif" />

I told everyone about the affair and them too, but they accepted her, OM and their adulterous relationship. It was like a knife throught the heart. At least my D showed her character and did not go with them because she disapproves of their adultery.

Now that WW and OM are starting to go public with their relationship, does that mean it's all over for me????? She obviously is proud to show him off. This is the most dismal I have felt about any chance with WW today. Please give me you opinions. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Confused]" src="images/icons/confused.gif" />

No it's not over for you but while she and the OM might be attempting to be recognized as a couple, the people who are inviting them might be curious to find out what kind of rodent your WW has hooked up with.

What you and your WW may perceive as a victory for her and the OM, just MAY be something totally different for it could be the beginning of a subversive smear campaign.

So don't be deceived by appearances.

Yes, Monty, this sucks!
I think it is in part your WW trying to prove herself to OM. She needs to show him that she is not embarassed to be seen with him and so she is bringing him into the light of day. But take heart in knowing that in most cases this is the beginning of the end of the A. Very few A survive more than six months after true exposure.
Remember that these are your friends, too, and that WW put them in a tough position. It does not necessarily mean that they approve of what she is doing. In fact they probably resent being in this situation and were, at best, cordial to OM. You should hope that your friends made WW and OM feel damn uncomfortable.
You might want to tell one of these friends (especially male) just how you feel. Do not be judgemental, but let him know that you feel a certain sense of betrayal here. The fact that your D refused to go to her mothers birthday dinner should show everyone how wrong this is. Good girl. Take strength from each other, and take her out to dinner soon.

If these people are your best friends then God help you. I would call them and tell them what you feel and why. I would ask them if these are the messages they wish to teach their own children? Clearly Monty these are not the people you wish to consider best friends. The behavior of these (best friends) was disgraceful to you and your marriage and clearly they are condoning her affair and are insulting to you. I suggest that you tell them you hope in the future you can prove your friendship to them the way they have proved their friendship to you (sic). I wish you luck.

Monty, he'll lose his luster fairly soon. She's in the fog thinking he's great right now. He's a fatasy and reality will come and whack her right in the face pretty soon.

Also, the friends probably said OK to him coming because they didn't know what else to say. Maybe they couldn't say, "your relationship is out of bounds and we want nothing to do with you now."

That totally sucks, though <img border="0" title="" alt="[Frown]" src="images/icons/frown.gif" /> . It's too bad your daughter has to witness it at such a fragile point in her life.

Monty,

The A will end ... the more reality she put in it the more they will face their R like "normal people". If you really want your W back ... not this WW ... stop listening or following her actions. It would only drained your LB$ at this point it is the most important thing to preserve.

I don't want my ExW ... if I want it to I could get her ... 6 years in the making, 2 years since D-day, after everyone is Dv ... OM realizes what he got and LB all the time ... ExW realizes what she got and frustrated like h3ll !. Their R is numbered ... they tried to do anything ... clean slate many times ... latest is tatoo of each other name on their hand <img border="0" title="" alt="[Eek!]" src="images/icons/shocked.gif" /> . But they had to cut short their trip by one day last week (LB'ed both side) plus my 2D rebel against her. I am a pretty good option for her if I want it too. I know I could get my ExW back ... but I don't.

My point is you know you are better than OM, you know you are a better dad than OM ... dug you heel and don't even follow/monitor your WW. It is only draining your LB$ and hinder your recovery. Of course if you don't want your WW and want it to drained your LB$, keep following her actions and all of her LB. I gurantee that you won't want your WW even she come crawling to you.

-rh-

Monty,
You've gotten some wise advice from others here. I wanted to comment on something you said. You said: </font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial"> This is the most dismal I have felt about any chance with WW today.</font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Listen to the others here. This affair will end, whether friends have met OM or not.

I've been in your wife's shoes, and believe me it will all end eventually. I've been wanting a chance from my ex for a long time.

I never had any friends meet OM, I was too embarrassed and ashamed. They expressed no interest in meeting him either.

Some family members met him, and some begrudgingly did right before I ended the A, right before the divorce was final.

No good can ever come of a relationship that's based on lies and deceit. In time, your wife will wake up and end this thing. At least that's what happens most of the time. And if it doesn't end, she'll have to live in a R that she knows started out in an awful fashion and hurt so many loved ones . What way is that to live? Either way, she has to live with the consequences of her disastrous choice.

When she does ask you for a 'chance', you can decide if she's capable of EARNING the right to be with you again.

Take care of YOU, and follow the principles found here at MB. This will guide you through recovery whether she ever joins you or not.

Hopeful