Someone on this site recommended a group called "Rejoice." While some may object to the religious nature of its attempts to reconcile families, I was interested on people's comments on its recent message...

THE OPEN DOOR POLICY

"Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you. For everyone who asks receives; he who seeks finds; and to him who knocks, the door will be opened." Matthew 7:7

Monday I did an Internet search for the term "open door policy." In seconds, 3.4 million matches were returned to me. I spent the next
half hour reading how an "open door policy" is in effect today for everything from immigration issues, to teen dating, even to parents visiting at a day care center.

The short definition of open door policy is "allowing equal opportunities and access." Did you realize that prodigals spouses can go
just about anywhere they desire, thanks to open door policies, yet for many, the home they left has a closed door policy to their returning?
Well-intended spouses are standing for marriage restoration, yet they have stipulations in place before their prodigal's return.

Let's assume that you heard a knock on the door right now, and found your prodigal standing there, luggage in hand. How would you respond?
The textbook answer might be, "I would welcome then in with rejoicing!" Let's be honest with each other. Would you have an "open door policy"
or a "twenty question policy" in place? Would you have to know why they came home, what they had been up to, and what happened to the other person? Would you be demanding they not come home until they are right with God? Would your beloved hear a list of ground rules before they even stepped across the threshold?

When a sinner comes to Christ, what is demanded of them to receive the free gift of eternal life? It is as simple as ABC; Acknowledge Jesus is Lord. Believe He can forgive sin. Confess their sins. In His earthly ministry, Jesus did not tell sinners, "Go clean up your act, and then you can come to me." Praise God, He accepts us just as we are. Yes, the Lord expects change to lie ahead, but the homecoming to Him is unconditional.

If you have someone, in their attempts to be helpful, who is filling you with thoughts of what your prodigal must do before they come home,
ask them to point out in scripture where Jesus put demands on people to change before coming to Him. There are none. It is often easier for a prodigal spouse to get into Heaven than back into their own home.

Prodigal spouses are testing the waters of going home all the time. You may have heard statements that began with, "If I ever came home...," or "Some day, if by a miracle, I should come home..." Prodigals are testing the waters by the questions they ask children. They test the water by what they do for the stander. Are you announc-
ing an open door policy right then, or are you giving stipulations? What are your children overhearing you tell friends?

Does your prodigal spouse know they are welcomed home right now, in any condition and under any circumstances? It matters not if your mate left yesterday, or ten years ago, the one you love needs to know they will always have a place to call home. As a returned prodigal, I can assure you there is no feeling like waking up, day after day after day, and being hit with the reality of the consequences of what we have done to a family. The antidote to that ever-consuming poison is knowing that we are welcomed back at home. It may take months, or years, of that daily shock, followed by the daily antidote of
unconditional love of our spouse, and the wooing of the Holy Spirit, but there will come a day when the prodigal will "come to their senses" and simply say, "What's the use? I would be better off at home." (Hosea 2:6-7) That is when prodigals come home.

During my Internet search, I also discovered reports of organizations promoting their open door policy, but then acting otherwise. If you
have an open door policy in anticipation of a prodigal's return, be careful that you really mean what you say. It is our desire to
instruct you, in God's ways, of not only welcoming your mate home, but keeping them there. That means standing for life, regardless of the
condition of your marriage.

How have we made it almost twenty years after restoration? It is not because I am a perfect husband, (although I am now a faithful husband).
It is because Charlyne has never stopped praying, never stopped standing, for our marriage. The open door policy that was in effect on Seventh Street on July 7, 1987 has never changed.

The prayers of a wife who never stopped praying have also brought me back from death's door more than once. Today we have three young adult
children who respect the prayers of their Mother, because they witnessed her stand. When there is an emergency in any of their families, they still call Mom because they know she prays, and that
her prayers receive answers.

During the past fourteen years of ministry, the Lord has allowed me to get to know thousands of standers. Of them all, the woman I know best,
my wife Charlyne, is still Exhibit "A" in my book. Why? Because she instituted an open door policy when she began to stand, and that has
never changed. I came home to a loving, praying wife, who was filled with unconditional love, and that remains unchanged today. You need to be following Jesus, but if you want an earthly example, I commend my girl to you.

"Here I am! I stand at the door and knock. If anyone hears my voice and opens the door, I will come in and eat with him, and he with me. To him who overcomes, I will give the right to sit with me on my throne, just as I overcame and sat down with my Father on his throne. He who has an ear, let him hear what the Spirit says to the churches." Revelation 3:20-22

<small>[ September 02, 2003, 01:56 PM: Message edited by: A.M.Martin ]</small>

A.M.,

Very interesting material and interesting point of view. I don't know what to say really.

I don't have a coherent response to all that, only a few thoughts.

As a Christian, I understand and appreciate the "open door", however there are some differences between this and a human marriage.

1) I'm not God. I'm neither eternal (in this physical life) nor all-powerful nor all-knowing. It's a bit much to say that I should behave in the same way as God. If God waits "forever" for somebody, God doesn't change. If a betrayed spouse waits, (s)he grows old, and misses out on life.

2) In reference to the prodigal, it's interesting to note that the father did not go out and track him down and bring him home. He waited and watched. When the prodigal appeared, the father accepted him and celebrated the return.

3) Jesus said to the woman caught in adultry "Go, and sin no more. He didn't say "That's all right girl, it doesn't matter, do whatever makes you feel good. Your H isn't meeting your needs and you can't help yourself."

4) God doesn't have an exclusive relationship with people. His "open door" policy doesn't mean that he can't accept others while he waits for one to return. This is quite different from the monogomous marriage relationship that exists between humans. We don't say to ourselves "I'd better return to God before he finds somebody else." So, the parallel with us would be to say "I'm going to get myself another wife, but if this wife comes back, I'll accept her too."

In summary, while it's an interesting POV, I don't think the parallels (sp?) are all that strong.

-AD

Okay, I'll bite. I also have to sit and think on this and do a little Bible study concerning what you raise here, but let me jump in with what I know so far.

</font>

• <font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">A.D. made an excellent point concerning the Prodigal Son. When the prodigal came home, his father was waiting for him...just as most Plan B BSs are waiting for their WSs. But when that Prodigal came home, what did he try to say to the father? Everyone here that is interested should read (or re-read) what the prodigals response to the father was when they first met. I wont even cover it here, because the Word says it better than I could. The prodigal was repentent. The prodigal had given up his sinful life and was coming back under the love of the father. And so it goes with WSs. They give up their sinful life (the OP) and come home. The prodigal didnt know that his father had an open door policy, but he sure as heck knew that he couldnt come home without giving up his sinful ways.</font></li>
• <font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">The prospect of unconditional love. It is IMPOSSIBLE for a human being to have unconditional love that emanates from themselves! That kind of love is AGAPE love...and that is the love of God. So, an "open door policy" would have to be based on God's love, and not your own...which leads me to my next point...</font></li>
• <font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">God does not allow believers to live in sinful rebellion. He does not allow it. There is no open door. He knows heathens will do these things...but believers are inhabited by the Holy Spirit, and thus know better. And God has told us what to do with believers who are in rebellion </font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">1Cor. 5:1 It is actually reported that there is sexual immorality among you, and of a kind that does not occur even among pagans: A man has his father's wife. 2And you are proud! Shouldn't you rather have been filled with grief and have put out of your fellowship the man who did this? 3Even though I am not physically present, I am with you in spirit. And I have already passed judgment on the one who did this, just as if I were present. 4When you are assembled in the name of our Lord Jesus and I am with you in spirit, and the power of our Lord Jesus is present, 5hand this man over to Satan, so that the sinful nature may be destroyed and his spirit saved on the day of the Lord. 6Your boasting is not good. Don't you know that a little yeast works through the whole batch of dough? 7Get rid of the old yeast that you may be a new batch without yeast --as you really are. For Christ, our Passover lamb, has been sacrificed. 8Therefore let us keep the Festival, not with the old yeast, the yeast of malice and wickedness, but with bread without yeast, the bread of sincerity and truth. 9I have written you in my letter not to associate with sexually immoral people-- 10not at all meaning the people of this world who are immoral, or the greedy and swindlers, or idolaters. In that case you would have to leave this world. 11But now I am writing you that you must not associate with anyone who calls himself a brother but is sexually immoral or greedy, an idolater or a slanderer, a drunkard or a swindler. With such a man do not even eat. 12What business is it of mine to judge those outside the church? Are you not to judge those inside? 13God will judge those outside. "Expel the wicked man from among you."</font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">That does not sound like an open door policy to me!</font></li>
• <font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">You talk about stipulations for marriage restoration, but then state that there are no stipulations by Christ on coming through His door. This is not true. First off, as you pointed out in the ABCs, He does have stipulations. Not all that call Him Lord will make it into the Kingdon of Heaven. Again, does not sound like an open door to me. A.D. shows a great example with Jesus and the woman at the well. Now, you are right in the fact that he doesnt say "Clean up your act and then come. That is impossible! What He says is, once you come to Him, you MUST go and sin no more. Again, the door is open...but to go through the door and to remain inside, there ARE stipulations.</font></li>
• <font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Now, you are right in the fact that WSs do test the waters before coming home. But, that is what the Plan B Letter is for. It is a love letter to the WS. It tells the WS that there is a way...a narrow way home (just as Jesus' way is the narrow way. That the BS is prepared to build a loving and lasting relationship that will edify both of the spouses, but it first and foremost has to be a marriage. And marriages do not have a third human being involved (they do have Christ in them though). Marriages dont have sexual contact with those not in the marriage (that is adultery). Christ does not allow the believer to live in rebellion. He has unconditional love...yes...but he does not hesitate to give us loving correction (read "spanking.").</font></li>
• <font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">You bring up the power of prayer. That should always be the first and foremost approach a believer should have...in anything in his/her life. It is then that we are able to get the wisdom and power of Christ. Your wife sounds like she is a testimony to this and many would do a lot better in their lives if they followed her example. But like I said, the only unconditional love we can have for another has to come through us from Jesus. And Jesus is all about love. And it is not loving to allow a believer, or child, or even a sinner, to continue on the path of destruction. It is not loving when you know that their actions are desstroying themselves and those around them...and you continue to allow them to do so. That is not loving. I have three children. I love them as much as any human can. But, if my 11 year old son was rebelling against me, my wife, and our rules, he would be given correction. Why? Because we love him. And depending on the severity of the infraction, the loving correction may be very harsh...even to the point of having to remove him from the household. Now, how many times do you see in the Bible that God says He hates something? Well, if my memory serves me well, it is once...in Malachi 2, when He states that He hates divorce. So, it is obvious that divorce (and adultery...because ALL divorce involves adultery) is a very serious violation. He talks in the passage I wrote above from 1st Corinthians on what to do with the sexually immoral "Do not even eat with them." Pretty harsh stuff, huh? Why? Why doesnt He allow us to have an Open Door here? Because He knows what adultery, divorce, and a small list of other sins will do to a family, to other believers, to a church. And since the person in rebellion is dead set upon the life they have chosen (thus the word rebellion), God wants us to protect ourselves, our families and other believers from their immoral influences. He already has to deal with one wayward child...He doesnt want others lead away because of him/her.</font></li>

<font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">I welcome any responses here. I just do not see an Open Door policy when it comes to God. His door is VERY narrow. Even a "good" person will end up in hell, if they dont meet His stipulations.
Thanks for the thread. This is very interesting!
In His arms.

<small>[ September 03, 2003, 10:13 AM: Message edited by: Mortarman ]</small>

One more thing, from a concordance I have...

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Is it hard to be saved?

1Pet. 4:17 For it is time for judgment to begin with the family of God; and if it begins with us, what will the outcome be for those who do not obey the gospel of God? 18And, "If it is hard for the righteous to be saved, what will become of the ungodly and the sinner?" 19So then, those who suffer according to God's will should commit themselves to their faithful Creator and continue to do good.

Commentary: Satan would like to make us think that salvation is easy. Accept Christ and that is all that it takes. The Bible makes abundantly clear that true repentance leads to the forsaking of one's sinful ways. Isaiah 26:9, 10 says "When your judgments come upon the earth, the people of the world learn righteousness. Though grace is shown to the wicked, they do not learn righteousness; even in a land of uprightness they go on doing evil and regard not the majesty of the LORD." In other words, Christ's saving grace is available freely to all. The test of acceptance of that grace is a true repentance, a forsaking of one's evil behaviors, and an adherence to the decrees and commands of our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ out of our love for Him and what He has done.</font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">

Good points of view, all. However, this is not "my" POV, but the Rejoice people's POV.

Oppps...sorry...you did say that!

<small>[ September 02, 2003, 02:41 PM: Message edited by: Mortarman ]</small>

unconditional love of a spouse....bllleeech...

don't buy it..
don't believe it...
don't want it from my spouse...

I don't see where unconditional love serves any real purpose...in life...

for while I will always love my spouse...I will not and would not accept toxic choices or behaviors that harm my family or others...

same would apply to my children...that while I will always feel love for them...I would not always support them in choices that are harmful to others or themselves....so my unconditional love would be from the opposite coast if need be...
and love without action is empty words...

so my "unconditional love" really doesn't beget anyone anything.....
so why people chase the illusive butterfly of unconditional love..as if it is some grand thing I don't understand..

I might even say that it is the conditions that exist on earning my husbands respect and "love" are things that make me a better person...and make me want to be a better person....for I value his respect, opinion, and love...

Also there are times when forgiveness is not ours to give...
that some actions are unforgivable...and though they can be accepted as truth and as having occured they do not necessarily warrant forgiveness..

some mean rotten crappy choices that cause great pain are unforgivable..and if the perpetrator is bold enough or perhaps silly enough to expect forgiveness for some things...then they themselves really have no clue or idea of the pain they caused...and the responsibility they hold in their own actions....

There are some things they have no right to ask forgiveness for...
there are some things that others can not give forgiveness for...and hopefully all can grow and move away from that...

Also the prodigal son...had no vow between him, God and his Father...as exists in some marriage ceremonies...

he was just one bad teenager....

I would also say that while Jesus welcomed all his parting words I believe were now go and sin no more...meaning..cut the crap... <img border="0" title="" alt="[Razz]" src="images/icons/tongue.gif" /> change..

pretty much what a BS tells a WS eh?

ark

Ark,

I agree with 99.99% of what you wrote here. Even my wife said after having her talk with Steve Harley on Friday, that "Steve doesnt believe in unconditional love." There is only one person, one man, that is capable of unconditional love...and that is Jesus.

Now, where I differ a little with you is the concept of forgiveness. Forgiveness is not about the person receiving it...it is about the person giving it. God says that if you do not forgive, He will not forgive you.

Are there heinous acts in the world? Sure. Acts which cause greater pain than others? Sure. Is the act of stealing something (maybe a watch) from someone less heinous than someone that murders someone? To us humans...yes. To God? Nope. All is sin...and all has the same penalty...death! All sin is under the death penalty. It is like a bunch of pigs, sitting in a pig stie, arguing about who is dirtier. We are ALL dirty!

There is only one sin that is unforgiveable. And it isnt against us...it is against Jesus. He has said that that anyone that does not come upon Him, accept Him as Lord and Savior and repent, will end up unforgiven and in the Lake of Fire. So, God does forgive all sins...accept this one.

And, He commands that we forgive also. He commands this because it is good for us. You see, I still harbor ill will against the OM. I still have not forgiven him. Now, does the OM think about me? Nope...he has gotten on with his life. But me...I still have haunting images and anger. So, who is being hurt by not forgiving? I AM! And why wont I forgive? Pride! It is always about pride. We feel that this other person does not DESERVE our forgiveness, especially when the "crimes" are so heinous. But guess what? None of us DESERVED forgiveness from God. The only way we received it is because a man that did not deserve to be treated the way He was, took on our punishment. Took on death...and came out the other side. So, I am learning...and we should all learn...that holding back forgiveness (whether they ask for it or not) ONLY hurts us!

In His arms.

WHOOO HOOOOO 99.99% that's cool..I accept that...

I think I stand firmly about the ownership of "sin" for lack of better word..that at times seeking forgiveness is not OK...or perhaps a better word applicable...

I guess also that my thoughts of not forgiveness are somewhat more global...and removed from a direct personal thought...

It is even my understand as some Jewish Law as explained to me...(so forgive my lack of understanding) that there times when forgiveness is not be soughtor the given

It has been explained that forgiving the acts of the holocaust is not ours to give...and if we were to go around espousing forgiveness for those actions...then we are causing continual pain/damage ("sin") in our condoning...

BUT in all reality me spewing forgiveness for holocaust perpertrators really serves no functional purpose...

I have no forgiveness for the acts of Jeffrey Dalmer...none...for while I believe in "vengence is mine sayeth the Lord" I also believe that for forgiveness...that we all are accountable and all will answer for our actions....in some cases is God's also...

I believe God has dealt justice to him for his actions...whatever that may be...

I also think that it is unfair to seek forgiveness for some acts..that it is impossible to give...not on the level of heiniousness but based alone that the choices were made knowing that they would.do.did cause great pain...and the choice was still made...

It is cruel for the person that did those acts to even ask forgiveness...

I agree 99.9999% that forgiveness with-held causes damage to people...
but still believe sometimes it is not possible to give forgiveness...BUT that does not mean one harbors ill thoughts/feelings...
that the best outcome is that some things that are unforgivable are also let go of...and not held onto to do damage...to oneself or others...

I don't think that I could forgive my husband for certain things...but I could accept that they happened and move on from that without harboring ill thoughts/feelings...

It's not that I don't think they don't deserve forgiveness...
I think it's more that I believe that I can't forgive them....not cause I don't want too..but because it serves no purposoe and really isn't mine to give....does that make sense?

ARK

Ark,

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">WHOOO HOOOOO 99.99% that's cool..I accept that...</font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">I actually excited Ark here people!

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">I think I stand firmly about the ownership of "sin" for lack of better word..that at times seeking forgiveness is not OK...or perhaps a better word applicable...</font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Oh, I am not here to condemn other's views. I am just saying that not forgiving is not what the Bible teaches.

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">I guess also that my thoughts of not forgiveness are somewhat more global...and removed from a direct personal thought...

It is even my understand as some Jewish Law as explained to me...(so forgive my lack of understanding) that there times when forgiveness is not be soughtor the given</font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Again, I believe you are correct here about Jewish law, although I am far from being an expert. But Jewish law does not amount to God's law. And to Christians, that authority is the Bible. And the Bible teaches forgiveness.

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">It has been explained that forgiving the acts of the holocaust is not ours to give...and if we were to go around espousing forgiveness for those actions...then we are causing continual pain/damage ("sin") in our condoning...</font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Well, it is some of ours to forgive. Those that were directly affected, that lived in the camps, or had relatives die, then yes...they do have a stake in forgiveness. The rest of us cant forgive any of that. Why? Because in order to forgive, we have to be the one that was transgressed against.

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">BUT in all reality me spewing forgiveness for holocaust perpertrators really serves no functional purpose...</font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Correct, you cannot forgive them...they didnt do anything to you...unless you are a survivor or you lost a relative.

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">I have no forgiveness for the acts of Jeffrey Dalmer...none...for while I believe in "vengence is mine sayeth the Lord" I also believe that for forgiveness...that we all are accountable and all will answer for our actions....in some cases is God's also...</font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Funny thing about the fact that you brought up Dahmer. Did you know that he was saved while in prison? Now, some will say that they believe he wasnt truly saved. But they dont know. I dont know. But if he was, do you know where Jeffrey dahmer is right now? Heaven. even after murdering and eating people. God does not distinguish in the punishment for different sins. All beget death. But, if he accepted Jesus as His Lord and Savior, then Jesus' death paid for Dahmer's heinous crimes. Yes, God got his judgment. Yes God got his justice. Jesus paid for it, not Dahmer.

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">I believe God has dealt justice to him for his actions...whatever that may be...</font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Well, he did get consequences for his actions. He was imprisoned. And he was beaten to death in prison. Both were consequences for his crimes, his sins. Now, is he burning in hell. Well, if he was saved, then guess what? He is sitting in heaven right now. And no matter what the families of the victims say or do, they cant stop that from happening. So forgiveness for them is about them laying down the hurt, anger and pain, and being more like Jesus. The Jesus that would allow a Jeffrey Dahmer into heaven. You see, too often we look at sins as a transgression against ourselves. My wife had an affair, thus she committed a sin against me. Nope! She committed a sin against God. God has been transgressed here. He has been sinned against. He wants justice for what she did to Him. And by her coming to Jesus and asking for forgiveness, Jesus says "Sure I will take this for you." And He died for just that.

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">I also think that it is unfair to seek forgiveness for some acts..that it is impossible to give...not on the level of heiniousness but based alone that the choices were made knowing that they would.do.did cause great pain...and the choice was still made...</font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Again, in my human knowledge and brain, I agree. But God has a different standard. All sin is the same to Him, except for the one unforgiveable sin. All has the same penalty. You can be a "good sinner" and do great works, and give to charity, and dedicate your whole life to mankind, and still end up in hell because you refused to accept Jesus as your Lord and Savior and refused His free gift...that gift of dying in your place. Or....you can be a very bad person, a Dahmer...and do unspeakable acts...and then come face-to-face with Jesus Himself, and you accept Him...and you will be sitting at the throne of God one day.

Franklin Graham once said that the surprise when we get to heaven will be who is there, and who is not there!

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">ruel for the person that did those acts to even ask forgiveness...</font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Again, he need not ask...forgiveness isnt about the sinner. It isnt about what they deserve. It is about the victim.

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial"> 99.9999% that forgiveness with-held causes damage to people...
but still believe sometimes it is not possible to give forgiveness...</font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Which is why God has PERMITTED divorce. due to the hardness of the VICTIM's heart. It is not His will for marriages to break up. It isn ot His will that we do not forgive. But He has allowe a concession here because of the pain and hardness of our hearts.

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">BUT that does not mean one harbors ill thoughts/feelings...
that the best outcome is that some things that are unforgivable are also let go of...and not held onto to do damage...to oneself or others...</font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">again, I am not trying to disagree with you on human terms. But, the bible is pretty clear on this issue. Forgiveness is not an option. If He could forgive you for your sins, then the little bit of sin that has happened against you can be forgiven. And He demands that!

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">I don't think that I could forgive my husband for certain things...but I could accept that they happened and move on from that without harboring ill thoughts/feelings...</font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">I am stuck here also Ark. My willingness to fully forgive my wife, and to even forgive the OM in the least little way. But I do know that the only way this works is if I let go. Like you said. But the way to let go is to forgive. Now, how does that look? Well, it isnt yoru happy with the person, or you forget what they have done. It isnt you become their best friend. It is your recognition that they are sinners, and have a sinful nature just like you. And that if the Master has forgiven them, then you must do no less.

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">It's not that I don't think they don't deserve forgiveness...
I think it's more that I believe that I can't forgive them....not cause I don't want too..but because it serves no purposoe and really isn't mine to give....does that make sense?</font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Well, if they transgressed against you, then it is yours to give. Osama Bin Laden is behind the 9/11 attacks. I did not have anyone there I knew. So, can I forgive him? Of course not...what did he do to me? Also, the purpose it serves is to allow the victim to rid themselves of the transgression.

Again, I know what you are saying. And you say that you cant or couldnt forgive certain acts. Well, I know that isnt true. Why? Because it isnt because you cant...it is because you wont. If you are a Christian, then you have the power of the Holy Spirit in you...thus you can forgive through the power of the Holy Spirit. If you arent a believer, then you have the option of choosing to follow Jesus. So, it is not the ability to forgive, it is the will to forgive.

I hope I havent beaten you up here. Like I said, you and I are right there together most of the time. But the concept of Biblical forgiveness is rarely understood.

And it is that forgiveness that allows Jesus to make us whole.

In His arms.