W is having surgery today for hesterectomy. We have been separated for 6 1/2 mos. now. I have been in Plan B for 2 mos.

Steve Harley told me to break Plan B for the surgery because of the "event". I want to be there for the surgery and afterwards but have learned the WW has asked the OM to be with her. My D asked her mother if she would want me there at the hospital, but WW told D that "Under the circumstances it wouldn't be a good idea".

I don't know which way to go on this one. What would do more harm? What would do the least amount of harm? I feel like I should be there, but it will be very hard with the OM there also. I am too involved in the game to think about the overall all effects of going either way, to be there or not. Any ideas will be greatly appreciated. The surgery is today is at 12:00. It is now 7AM where I am, so a quick opinion is needed.

Thanks All,

Monty,
I don't know the answer. But I think if I were in your shoes I would go. I love my wife and would put aside my feelings and pride and be there for her even if she didn't want me there. This may be a simple procedure, but what if there were some type of complication, could you live with yourself IF something did happen? You are in a tough position. I hope all goes well. My thoughts are with you...

IMHO, You have the right as a caring and concerned husband to be at the hospital to be by your wifes side. My advice would be to swallow the pain of the OM being there, rise above the hurt that will cause you, and show with your actions that your wifes health and well being mean more to you. You are concerned for her and want to be there to make sure everything is o.k.

Why do I say this? Because as a husband you have the right to make a health decision about your wife should something go wrong. The OM does not have that power.

I would stay there until your WW is in recovery. Have flowers and fruit and chocolates and a lovely cuddly teddy bear to say get well soon from her family in her room, so she will know you were there for her. When you are assured by the doctor that everything is O.K, I then suggest that you leave and go back to Plan B.

She will always remember you for caring for her despite the pain she has caused you. And that you stood by her side as a protective husband, for better and for worse, for sickness and in health.

You need to be a tower of strength for the day. you will go home hurt and wasted because of OM, but its the right thing to do. REMEMBER YOU ARE STILL HER HUSBAND, STAND UP FOR HER STILL BEING YOUR WIFE.

Strength from me to you and I pray all will go well!
-queen-

<small>[ September 09, 2003, 07:49 AM: Message edited by: Queen of a broken heart ]</small>

LWH and Queen,

Thanks for caring enough to reply and for your prayers. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />

this is a no brainer. go.