Well I emailed my WW about picking up her mail on Friday. This was the third time in 3 1/2 months I had to do this and the only times I've contacted WW during her request for no-contact.

Now each time I've done this WW has done something to add confussion to my thoughts about us.

The first time she knocked on the door to talk for 15 min rather than just taking the mail out of the box.

The second time she invited me for a drink after work.

And this third time she continued this trend by asking me to check with a friend of ours if she (our friend) recieved an email my WW sent. This is a good friend of our marriage.

I don't know if WW is simply trying to act nice as though her continued affair and our relationship are OK.

or

If WW is sticking her head out of the fog.

It's difficult to tell what her motivations are. Since I have so little interaction with her. Dday was almost 6 months ago the day WW left.

Any thoughts????

She shouldn´t be asking you to check with a mutual friend if the friend has received an e-mail from her. Can´t she do that herself? Don´t do it.

It seems to me like your WW has control over the situation here and your life, not the other way round. You write that she did not want contact with you. But then it is her that controls when she has contact with you after you ask her to pick up her mail. Why are you asking her to pick up her mail. If she doesn´t care about it enough to pick it up, why should you?

You are the betrayed spouse. It is you that should be setting up the boundaries for if she ever would want to come back. No contact, Plan B is for YOU to protect the love you have for her. A plan B letter is to tell her that you love her and want to stay married to her and that you will give it another go once she complies to the boundaries YOU have defined. In Plan B, you do things for yourself to make your life better, to make you a better person and not to spend all your energy on her. Plan A is about spending energy on her.

Just my thoughts.

-queen-

Don't start reading too much into so little.

QUEEN,

I'am controling my life. As my contact with my WW has been very short on my part. Short emails that she had some mail to be picked up and that I would leave it in the mail box. That's it. No questions about her other than asking if her and other man were still together. Which I got no direct awnser to even though it was a yes/no question.

This should be the end soon of the mail as it was bits and pieces of stuff (everyone gets now and then) that hadn't been redirected.

I did change my reaction to her questions about what I was up to. I leave out the day to day stuff and touch a little on the things I'm doing that I think she would like. My Plan A changes if you will. But again very brief.

If she asks about others or tells me to say hi I resopond that they are doing fine and that she could call them.

I'm being polite, respectfull and not chasing or giving her details about my world. My WW knows that until OM is gone her past relationships with my family and our friends are over.