I was online and my ex was there to. So I im'd him and we started chatting.

I noticed some subtle changes in the way he was talking and he mentioned the letter I sent him and said he was thinking about it. I told him I was nervous talking to him since it had been awhile, he told me I had nothing to be nervous about. For a brief second I thought that he meant he wanted us to be together again too.

I was dead wrong! He proceeds to tell me about how good he has been feeling, stopped all drinking and tobacco, goes to the gym 4x a week, and church every Sunday. I told him how proud I was of him and I was glad to hear him make these improvements (all things i tried to get him to do). He then tells me that the girl he had gone on "a couple of dates with" was his soulmate and they were meant to be together. She feels the same way.

He then proceeded to tell me about how happy he was and that he planned to ask her to marry him. He went on and on about how this was God's plan, and he is focused now not like ever before. He never felt this way about me...blah, blah, blah.

I feel like a complete idiot! I sent him this letter telling him I wanted us to be together (after he told me that 4 months ago) He told me since I didn't give him an answer sooner (otherwise he would have sat around and drank himself to death) he moved on. He's known her for a few months, and they're soulmates?? Is it possible? What happens when the "in love" feeling goes away again and real life settles in?

Here I am, AGAIN, with a broken heart. I'm so angry and hurt but I can't tell if it's at him or at myself. I let him do this to me again. I listened to him tell me how it will happen for me, i'll see, right now i'm hurt but eventually i'll see that it happened for a reason. All he kept talking about was that he and she "were meant to be".

I feel sick to my stomach, and I have to get up in 5 hours. I guess I should feel relief that at least now I know. And that I can move on, but I just don't get why he did what he did. He kept telling me that the way he treated me was evil, he was evil with me. And that he doesn't feel that way with her. He's happy all the time around her and she makes him want to be a better man. Is this bullsh*t or can it be true?

I can't believe this. If it was God's plan all along, then why did he bring him back into my life, just to have me get hurt again? I don't buy that, I don't believe God would be that cruel. But people can be.

It sounded like he felt sorry for me, I hated that. The way he kept saying sorry, but I'll find my "soulmate" one day too. AUGHH!

I guess I should be happy that he found his happiness, but right now I can't be. I'm too damn mad. All I can say is that it is not fair! Not fair that through all the pain and hurt he caused, through all the financial hardships I've had to go through, through all the self-doubt and insecurities that he gets to move on first. When do I get to be happy again?

FL,

Please take a moment to step back and breathe. If he told you to come back sometime in May but he has known this OW for a few months....then the timetables seem crossed.

He can go to wanting to you to finding a soulmate.....makes he wonder if he is stable or not. I mean, would you trust him to be your mechanic, doctor, dentist, gardner, plumber, tax accountant, etc? Not with that sway of emotions. No siree.

With that in mind, please be patient. Better that he recover by making this OW meet his supposed needs and see if she is 'that great' vs. him draining you again.

Then pray for a clear mind and a calm heart....this will help you keep it in perspective so you can handle yourself better.

JMHO.

take care,
L.

Just taking a shot in the dark here, but are you ABSOLUTELY POSITIVE that it was your EX? Meaning maybe it could have been OW pretending to be him? Just a thought.

If it was him, then don't put too much into the SOULMATE thing. He could still be just as loss as ever and making things SOUND better than the actually are.

It was definately my ex online last night. He said things that only he would know.

After sitting on it for awhile...I can't say sleep because I barely got any...I'm trying to think about why would I want him back? Although I do love him, he treated me horribly and continues to do so. He led me on 5 months ago and I believed he was finally serious about us. Then, without warning he is in a serious, committed relationship and is talking marriage. What the??

Orchid was right, he is not stable, he has never been the entire time I have known him. Why should now be any different? It sounds like he is putting so much faith into this soulmate thing and that she "saved him" and is "the one" that he can't see clearly. He never worked on ANY of his committment issues, just moved from one to another.

I guess in a way she saved me from making a mistake. Yes, I feel like a fool for believing him and embarrassed that I let him do it to me again. But I guess it's better than the alternative.

I still can't shake the anger though. He made it sound like it was my fault that he went with someone else, if I had made up my mind sooner he would have been here with me already. But instead there is another "plan" for him and it led him to her.

Is it possible to find a "soulmate"? I"m not sure if I believe they exist. And if it is God's plan, why does he, who has a long list of women who was left broken hearted, get to find a soulmate? Where's the justice in that???