Well, my H and I spent Saturday at the "Rekindling the Romance" conference, and it was amazing...incredible...wonderful.
Ever since the EA, I had longed for a public occasion to reaffirm my vows to my H. I had that opportunity at the end of the conference Saturday, when each couple was asked to hold hands, face each other and repeat the vows after speaker Bob Lepine.
Normally, I balk at things like that...like in a church service when the speaker tells you to turn to the person next to you and tell them you love them, etc. But this was different. It was totally not hokey or forced. Lepine even said that there may be some couples there who may not be ready to repeat those vows, and in that case they should just hold hands and be quiet.
But I was ready...more than ready. I could not stop the flow of tears as I repeated those words. Now, 25 years after saying them the first time, and after almost breaking them irrevocably, how much more meaningful they were!
I squeezed my H's hands harder as I emphasized, "forsaking all others..."
I was so grateful for the chance to say those words and mean them from the bottom of my heart.
(To be honest, the thought crossed my mind that the OM and his W might be at that very conference. We live in the same state and the same general area. I didn't even get butterflies when I thought they might be there. I just sincerely, in my heart, wished them well if they were. I truly don't think about the OM much anymore, but when I do, I sincerely hope that his marriage recovery is going well. Well, there were thousands of people there, and my H and I knew for a fact that several couples we knew were also going to be there, but we never crossed paths.)
Well...back to the conference.
~
Joe Stowell, president of Moody Bible Institute, spoke on "Restoring Romance: When Life Gets in the Way." He was great...a very warm and effective communicator.
Stowell defined romance as: Living with each other in positive ways that stimulate desire and pleasure in each other's company.
~
Alistair Begg spoke on "First, Love: The Original Plan." Begg pastors a church in Cleveland, but he is originally from Scotland and has a wonderful accent...I could have listened to him for hours! He is also an eloquent, powerful communicator who effectively uses humor and cultural references to connect with his audience.
Begg's message was essentially that we can't expect to fully realize romance in our marriage until we get a grasp of God's desire to woo and win us...and of His great love for us.
~Marriage counselors
Dr. Tim and Darcie Kimmel spoke on "Reclaiming Intimacy: The Priority of Passion in Marriage." The Kimmels had some great things to say, and although my H and I had heard and read most of this before, it was worth hearing again. Their "recipe for romance" was:
-Time
-Tenderness
-Tenacity
-Temperature (turning up the heat)
Basically, the Kimmels said couples should make time for sex and give themselves permission to be creative and sensual in their sex lives.
~
Dr. Crawford and Karen Loritts spoke on "Pursuing Oneness: Guarding Your Heart, Growing Together." Dr. Loritts was also a powerful and eloquent speaker, and his wife interspersed personal stories in his talk.
Dr. Loritts gave 6 suggestions for resolving conflict and effecting reconciliation:
1) Let your spouse tell their story
2) Separate the issue from the person
3) Acknowledget the pain and the offense
4) View the offense in the light of the relationship
5) Pursue reconcilation and personal repentance
I liked this quote from Dr. Loritts:
"Bitterness is like drinking poison and hoping the other person dies." He also pointed out that the goal of all Biblical confrontation is
restoration. He said the original Greek word for restoration meant to set a broken bone...painful, but it has to be done for healing to occur.
~
Bob Lepine of Family Life wrapped up the conference with "Going the Distance: The Transforming Power of Covenant Love." Lepine asked us to make six radical commitments to help our marriage go the distance. It was during this session that we were invited to renew our vows.
Other highlights: a mini-concert from Christian artist
Steven Curtis Chapman. We laughed, cried, and were incredibly blessed by the music of this man, who is the real deal...a CCM artist who is serious about the Christian life and dedicated to his marriage. SCC is a favorite of both mine and my H's, and we totally enjoyed his music, as well as an onstage interview with Steven and his wife Mary Beth.
I also can't say enough about "Acts of Renewal," the married acting duo of
Jim Shores and Carol Anderson Shores. The Shores's skits were interspersed throughout the sessions, and they were amazing. They used comedy and drama to effectively reinforce the principles being taught by the speakers. They were awesome!
Well, there you go. It was an incredible day, one my H and I won't soon forget. If you have the opportunity to go to one of these events, I recommend it without hesitation!
For info on where a "Rekindling the Romance" event may be happening near you, you can go to:
FamilyLife
