Hello,
I'm new here. I have been reading this site for a couple of days trying to fix my marriage .. I have to admit that it is my fault my wife wants to divorce. ( short and condensed version ) I work nights and weekends, she has gotten lonely and we started ignoring each other. She has given me signs in the past and I was blind and stupid for not watching them. We have been together for ten years. She says she loves me but doesn't want to be with me. She says she needs space. I don't know how to give her this space. I try but always end up calling or showing up at the house .. I love my children and do not want to leave them. My Wife and Children are everything to me. I knew she has been unhappy but thought it would all work out. She blind sided me with it. A couple of weeks ago I saw a strange phone number on the caller ID when I came home from work. I was going to call in the morning to see who was calling so late at night. When I got up in am it had been erased. I never said anything to my wife ... I should have. I found a set of phone numbers in my wifes pants by accident when I was looking for a set of keys... I asked her about it , I reconized it being the number that had been erased. She said it was the neighbors number. This neighbor has a reputation for getting involved with another married woman and broke that husband and wife up ... then started dating her. Hence how they became our neighbors... she moved out he stayed. I did get mad and yelled at her then I told her I was going to have a talk with him ... About four hours later I went up to her moms to talk with her and as I opened the door she was on the phone ... with him. I really lost my temper and blew up at her and yelled, then I went over and yelled at him. I asked him to stop calling my wife .. he said they were only friends and that I shouldn't be so controlling about it ... well that same night when I was at work he called again. Then again on the next day She had told me she wanted me to move out prior to me finding his number and all of this starting ..... All this time I've was staying in my truck and sleeping. So i really haven't had much sleep. I found out that he had called my wife again the next day ... So I went to his house and yelled some more the again at my Wife because in the process of him and me yelling back at eachother he had told me that My wife told him she didn't want to stop talking to him that she needs a friend to talk too... at the same time she told me that she would stop calling him and talking to him. She says there is nothing going on and that she hasn't had an affair with him and that it was wrong to talk with him about us .. I trust my wife .. at least I did. I never had a doubt in my mind about her never cheating on me ... this is eating me up inside about him but I try to let it go and I don't know how .. I'm trying to work out my marriage but she doesn't seem to want to try .. I know he came over the night that I went to his house. My daughter told me that he sat on the deck outside talking to my wife ... I questioned her about it and she said that he wasn't going to call or come over any more ... I know one of the other neighbors that is invovled in this ( a female across the street that has been talking to my wife ) yelled at him about it all also. OK there is the back ground of it. I am just looking for some advice on where to go from here or how to try and get my wife to love me again ... she says she did this to shake me up and make me realize what I'm loosing ... I do. Then the next time I talk to her she wants to just end it... She didn't take her ring off until five days after this all started then boom, it was off ( the same night he came over and talked to her on the deck ) But I also believe that if I hadn't found out about them talking they might have had a full blown affair.. What do I do? I love my wife and children and I want to work this out ... any advice would be great .. L&C [LIST]

I'm sorry you are going through this. Yes, you probably haven't been meeting your wifes needs and she is probably looking elsewhere to have them met. It sounds like your wife is having an emotional affair. Yes, its an affair whether its physical or not... You've come to the right place to get answers. I'm not gonna give you a bunch of advice, I'll let some more qualified people do that. However, I will suggest you read the book, "Surviving an Affair" by Harley. It will help answer many questions. I am sure other more qualified people will post shortly. Just know, you are not alone here. There are some very good folks here that will help you. Keep posting and reading...