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Joined: Sep 2003
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Joined: Sep 2003
Posts: 2,648 |
DH and I watched a movie together tonight. One of the ladies in the movie had the same name as his ex-fiance, who he had an EA with after we were married. I have always had issues with her. ALl night I was sitting there reflecting back on it all. Wondering, if it made him think of her, if he was missing her. NOrmally I would have made a smart a** comment or said something rude. (major LB) However, I was able not to say anything at all.
I guess that's why I am here. I need to say something, but don't want to LB. I hope he was enjoying the movie with me and not thinking about her.
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Joined: Jan 2001
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Name triggers.....H's xfiance has the same name as PBR (OW). YUCK! Now I realize the name in itself does not always denote a bad character but you can imagine how jumpy I get whenever I hear that name. It is like the name is shouted in my ear! When I realized that, I started to call the OW by her last name. Mrs. _______. That took the romance out of hearing her name for the WS. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Razz]" src="images/icons/tongue.gif" /> L.
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Joined: Sep 2003
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</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial"> When I realized that, I started to call the OW by her last name. Mrs. _______. That took the romance out of hearing her name for the WS </font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">That's a pretty good idea. No LB'ing by name calling. I hate it her name is Stacy, my name is Tracie <img border="0" title="" alt="[Roll Eyes]" src="images/icons/rolleyes.gif" />
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Joined: Jun 2003
Posts: 152
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Hearing or saying her name makes me ill. When he and I talk about her I use the name her or she. But I like Mrs. ____... that is a good one. If I don't use her or she it becomes s**t, or b***h or W88$e. And I don't use those words when I talk to H about her. I use those when I talk to my close friend helping me through this. I think those words even though they are my true feelings are a LB>
Don't know if I will ever be able to hear her name and not be a trigger or anger.
Tami
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Joined: Sep 2003
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I never really thought her name would bother me. It's weird on the freeway here there is a add for the mall. They have a picture of a model. It looks a lot like her. I try to avoid going that way. Not sure if I am worried it will trigger him or me.... He said he hadn't even noticed <img border="0" title="" alt="[Roll Eyes]" src="images/icons/rolleyes.gif" />
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Joined: Sep 2003
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OW has a unique name, so I don't think we'll be hearing it too often, but we've never used it in our house. He will say 'my friend' and I will say 'your lover'.
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Joined: Jan 2001
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LBC,
The purpose of calling her Mrs. _______ is to remove any romantic connection. If she isn't married, call her Ms X or Ms X'd or Mz. ______.
JMHO,
L.
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