Im having problems with my husband.He is in withdrawel mood for some reason.He barely talks to me and there is great tension between us.He gets angry when I try and talk to him about this.We have always been able to talk without fighting until now.He has not been meeting my emotional needs for a very long time.He refuses to even try.He does not want to have sex even when I do something special to get him in the mood.This is making me scared that he is having an affair.When I ask him about all this he said he is depressed and he doesnt know why.What do you think is going on? We have been married for 5 yrs and this started very abrubtly about a month ago.Please talk to me,I am desperate!

He may really be depressed. People who are depressed don't know why they feel the way they do.

Depression can also lead to trying different things to self-medicate, like other relationships/affairs.

On the other hand, having an affair can lead to being depressed around the spouse.

My advice is to read up on Plan A here on marriagebuilders, cut out all lovebusteres, like angry outbursts, selfish demands, thoughtless decisions and try to meet your H's needs.

If he will go to counseling, now is a good time to start, and he can also be evaluated for depression. He will need a medical doctor if he needs medication.

If he's in true depression, treating the depression comes before marital counseling, even if the depression has led to an affair.

girly,

Please check the 50 signs under my signatue and see how many matches you find. Meanwhile are there any life event such as death in the family, job losses, freindship losses or something that could bring someone into big D ?. Do you know what to look symptoms of depression ?

See how many of this matches and has to be prolong action:
-Mood changes:sadness, discouragement, hopelessness, irritability (to anyone/anything not just you), crying, helplessness
-Behavior: Tierd, Sleep disturbance (unable to sleep, waking up in early morining, or oversleeping), loss of appetite, weight gain or weight loss, pyschomotor retardation (slow down on his actions)
-Cognitive: difficulty in concentrating, dificulty making decision, negative thought.

For now keep your mouth shut and don't push H until you know the fact. Your action is an LB right now as annoying behavior. What I suggest you to do is keep a journal on time/action and write down what his complaint about you.

Like Lor suggest you to lean MB as much as you can. MB would bring romantic love back.

Welcome to MB.

-rh-