Hi guys,

I know in plan b, there is to be no contact with WS. My anniversary is in 2 weeks. Am I suppose to ignore <img border="0" title="" alt="[Frown]" src="images/icons/frown.gif" /> that it's my anniversary or I'm I suppose to send a card, OR WHAT?

I'm clueless. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Confused]" src="images/icons/confused.gif" />

Help please!

<small>[ October 10, 2003, 08:19 AM: Message edited by: STBXWife ]</small>

Plan B is plan B, no contact. I know it is very difficult to think about an anniversary and not send a card or something, but your WS is not going to be celebrating it. I had my anniversary on the 18th and I really thought I'd feel bad, but being in plan B helped alot. It is up to you, but you will be breaking your plan B, thus enabling your WS to fill some of his/her emotional needs. Just my thoughts...

My 24 year anniversary was earlier this month.I so wanted to send a card or flowers or something because I had always made a big deal about all of our previous anniversaries. I asked this same question from MB and also my IC. I received the same answer from nearly eveyone.
You do absolutely nothing. No card, no email, no phone call, NO CONTACT. I hated it but PlanB is PlanB, NC is NC.
BTW, what is your anniversary date.

My anniversary date is October 10. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Frown]" src="images/icons/frown.gif" />

I guess it'll just be another day. I don't know how I'll be feeling on that day but I hope it won't bother me too much.

Ok guys, I have another question.

What if WH calls on our anniversary? I have this strong feeling that he will call.

What am I supposed to say to him, without sounding rude about not wanting to talk to him?

BTW, it has been a week in Plan B. And growing stonger each day. Had a hard day yesterday but, today is a new day. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" /> My emotions were on full blast yesterday. Really just wanted to call him and LB but held strong and didn't. Feeling a lot better today and am so glad that I didn't call him! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Wink]" src="images/icons/wink.gif" />

HELLO? ANYBODY!?!?! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Confused]" src="images/icons/confused.gif" />

I know it's 2 weeks away but I just want to be prepared if he does call.

PLEASE, SUGGESTIONS SOMEONE!!!!

Thanks <img border="0" title="" alt="[Wink]" src="images/icons/wink.gif" />

ANSWER: Don't answer if he calls! PLAN B! STAY DARK!

Hi STBX.

Anniversary is tomorrow, right? Plan B. Pretend it's any other day if that's possible.

Do not do what I did in May on my 9th anniversary. WH sent flowers to my work???!!! Huh? Everyone asking...what's the occassion? Um, my husband who lives with another woman is sending me flowers for our wedding anniversary...I ended up taking the flowers and glass vase and smashing them on OW's front door step along with the note that said Love, WH. I thought she should know that her boyfriend was sending me flowers.

Hopelessly destructive,
DIJ

Plan something for yourself.... go to a movie or a play .... have friends over .... stay busy.

Thinking good thoughts for you.

Pep

Thanks Dueinjan & Peperband.

I kind of broke plan b. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Roll Eyes]" src="images/icons/rolleyes.gif" /> I know.... I know......STAY DARK. But when I had a teacher confrence with my 4 yo son's teacher and he said he had concerns about my son regarding his father. I tried to talk to my WH about it and kind of blew up and we started arguing.

BTW, the plan B letter that I gave to my MIL to give to him, he missed placed it and never read it. So when I wasn't taking his calls or not calling him he didn' understand why or the reasons why I wasn't talking to him.

So things are kind of weird right now. Don't know what plan I'm in right now. Now he's saying that he wanted to work things out but just can't. Says it's best if things just stay the way they are. (Him with OW and me being his friend! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Roll Eyes]" src="images/icons/rolleyes.gif" /> ) I know I have to give him the letter and NO CONTACT. But just trying to leave a good note. If you know what I mean.

So, yes tomorrow is my anniversary. <img border="0" alt="[Teary]" title="" src="graemlins/teary.gif" /> And am going to a high school football game and Saturday going out with friends from work to a club.

Don't know if he'll call or remember if it's our anniversary. There's been a lot of friction between us and fighting.

Whatever. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Confused]" src="images/icons/confused.gif" />

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">

Originally posted by STBXWife:

BTW, the plan B letter that I gave to my MIL to give to him, he missed placed it and never read it.

</font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial"><img border="0" title="" alt="[Eek!]" src="images/icons/shocked.gif" /> This "misplaceing" an important letter .... is no accident!

He does not want to lose you!

Stop argueing with him. It's a waste of good brain cells (yours). Copy the PB letter and place it in his hands next time there is a child-related meeting.

I can't believe he can't find that letter..... hmmmmm.

Pep

Yes, I plan on doing that Pep. I'm just trying to let things kind of calm down. I know it's my fault. I was doing a pretty good plan A until all this. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Roll Eyes]" src="images/icons/rolleyes.gif" />

Do you really think that he did read it? HUH, I WONDER? <img border="0" title="" alt="[Confused]" src="images/icons/confused.gif" />

But I will give it to him personally. SOON TOO!

BTW Dueinjan,

THAT WAS A FUNNY STORY! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" /> Good one!

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">

Originally posted by STBXWife:

Do you really think that he did read it? HUH, I WONDER? <img border="0" title="" alt="[Confused]" src="images/icons/confused.gif" />

</font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">I certainly feel it is possible!

What better way to stay a cake eater .... "Letter? What letter? I never read any letter! I lost it before I read it."

..... liar liar pants on fire! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Eek!]" src="images/icons/shocked.gif" />

Pep <img border="0" title="" alt="[Cool]" src="images/icons/cool.gif" />

You know Pep, you have a good point there.
HUH, who knows but he sure is a cake eater.

He wants us to be friends, keep everything friendly, call whenever he wants to, see me when it's convenient for him, talk about "us" when things are going sour between him and OW.

I don't want to be his friend, I can't.

I think I may need to redo my plan b letter. Fix it up a bit.

ARRRGGGG, here we go again. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Frown]" src="images/icons/frown.gif" /> YUCK!

Hey, STBXWife. Just checked in because I remembered tomorrow was your anniversary. Know that I will be thinking of you.
I agree that WH has read your PlanB letter. To be certain I would make another copy, hand it to him personally, tell him "I do love you, WS", and walk away. If the letter was well written it will tell him everything he needs to know. Get back in to PlanB ASAP.
Stay strong.

The day I dreaded most is now here. <img border="0" alt="[Teary]" title="" src="graemlins/teary.gif" />

But, acctually SO FAR, I'm doing ok. Just keep saying to myself, it's just another day........it's just another day.

I have to keep myself busy today. Don't want to think about anything.

Thanks guys for the support, everybody. THANK YOU!

My ideas for you today are: a manicure, pedicure, and a massage or maybe a haircut, blow dry and meeting friends for drinks. Whatever you like. Treat yourself. It will keep you from stewing on WH and this day - which is just another day after all - except for that you have an excuse to treat yourself.