My fiance and I have been living together for 2yrs.This past May she told me she had an affair with a coworker.She tells me she has not been with him since but talks to him on the phone.I know she loves me(she tells me if I would have changed 8 months ago the affair never would of happened)I'm doing a good job of meeting her needs but she is not going out of her way to meet mine.I can't seem to get it.He is married with a baby on the way and will doubtfully leave his wife.when is it time to walk away

Blaming you for her indiscretions is an excuse. Since u 2 are not married you need to decide whether you want to have a lifelong commitment with someone who has already proven untrustworthy.

I know this sounds harsh but if you take a look at what some of us have put up with after the M, you will find that if we knew then what we know now, some of us would not have made the choices we did. U have the opportunity to make a better choice.

As for the OM leaving his W and child, he is dumb but that is not your problem. Take care of yourself, be safe and find real happiness.

You can do that by reading his needs/her needs, taking the emotional needs questionnaire for you. Get with a good IC.

Distancing yourself from this person may be helpful for now. Until you can detach enough to not let this hurt you soo bad. I am sorry for the pain you are experiencing.

take care,
L.

Orchid gave you terrific advise. Look you are engaged to a woman who lives with you and had a sexualy affair six months ago putting your health at risk and disrespecting you and your relationship. The man is married and a new baby
is coming. She clearly had no respect for you or the OM's pregnant wife. She continues to talk to this guy on the phone and she is still living with you and you are still engaged to her? What is wrong with this picture? Don't be a sap. She has shown you her true colors and she is still calling this OM. Why in the world would you marry her? Is this the future you want? By the way I hope you and she have both been tested for STD's.
She is still calling him and still disrespecting you and you are still engaged to her? If the roles were reversed do you honestly think she would think it was all right for you to continue to call the woman you cheated on her with? I think you need to understand why you would wish to settle for this? You deserve much more than this. It really sounds like you are walking into a world of hurt if you stay engaged to her. I wish you luck.

WOW. Thank God you found out the kind of person she is before you married her. Can you imagine going through this when you are married with 3 kids and a mortgage? Get down and thank the good Lord you were tipped off in time!

Dating is a test. She has clearly failed the test. There are lots of nice ladies out there who will treat you with respect and take their committment seriously.

PSD,

Listen to all the pains of BS here ... do you want to start over again down the road w/ kids and half of your finance ?.

This A is a deal breaker.

-rh-

To answer your question, the time to walk away is now. You also need to inform the OM's wife about what happened. In fact, you should feel duty bound to let his wife know. Start making plans to move forward and don't look back. You will never have peace of mind with this woman and she is clearly still attached to the other man more than you. Get tested for STD's right away. As I type this post I am having a herpes outbreak, a little reminder of my wife's affair that pops up from time to time. Good luck and God bless.

I would like to thank all of you for your advise when I get my head straight I will let everyone know how made out