I need help again. I don't post too much here but I read a lot. So I will explain. I have been married over 16 years and have kids. My husband was caught having an affair about almost 2 years ago. Each time he tells me it is over I believe him. Each time I die a little more. This time has been about 4 months. He is a good liar. I called his work today and she answered the phone. She laughed as my trembling voice asked for him. That killed me. However, I spoke with him and he told me there will be times we work together. I beg to differ. There should be no instances where they are even around eachother for her to be answering his phone. I feel deep down insde he is still having some sort of relationship with her be it physical or emotional. He is still cheating! He wont't stop. When do I call it quits. He is a liar. I want so much to believe him. But when does my naiveness go away? When does it ever go away for me to stand up for myself. Individual Counseling isn't working for me.

That is a hard situation...I have lived it also. I think you need to decide what your boundaries are and then tell him what you will accept and what you won't accept. It is difficult to do and scary also.

I wish I had set boundaries much earlier in my marriage...Have you read all the material on this site about plan A and plan B? Have you tried those tactics? Right now, it sounds like he is living the best of both situations with little regard to you or your marriage. I couldn't and wouldn't live with that ever again in my relationships. Good luck...Pat