Just curious for anyone out there that knows, WS or BS. The other day saw a posting about someone asking about the fog, started me thinking is there measurable steps to coming out of the fog or is everyone different? My WS somedays see daylight but then I wonder was it just my imagination, he says "I feel remorse, not regret, for what I have done to OW H, our children and to you", next day feels nothing. But if he is coming out of the fog will it be gradual, quick, slow, will he go in and out????
thanks

km4
me 39
wh 44
married 17 years
2 boys 11 and 4
ow was my best friend.

The level of fog and whether or not the WS will EVER come out of it really depends on the WS. Most have moments of clarity, but then the pain and fear, or addiction and withdrawl, get to be too much so they go back on the path of justification and run with everything they have back in to the fog.

Some people have no desire to live in the world of reality. They don't want to give up fairytales and fantasy. They believe that by losing the things, life will be no fun and too painful. Well, growing up is hard to do, but it's also LESS PAINFUL in the long run than running every time the going gets tough. Some will never know, though.

I think some other factors include the influences of friends and families (or boards such as this one, or other infidelity boards with conflicting information). And the personality of the WS. I'm the kind of person that when I have questions, I want answers, and I will continue to search and research and ask until I get them. Some people wouldn't even think of doing that. They'll ask a friend...and take the answer they get as truth. Many friends are well meaning, but highly uninformed...and others just want their friends in the same muck as they are.

So there you have it....clear as mud! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />