I have been married for 30 years to a wonderful cheater. He has cheated 5 different times during our marriage. After finding out about a long term heart affair, we got counseling and I did make some changes, but my Italian hubby is so closed mouth. He can't seem to make any progress into discovering why he cheats. His affairs are usually one nigters and he is discusted with his "Victim" afterward. I know he loves me and we have 4 wonderful children and 11 grandchildren. I got a call from #5 last night. It has been over a year since that one happened. But new to me. We are Christians and this is just so devistating. To say nothing of the way it makes me feel about myself. I am usually a strong and confident person. My husband says I am close to perfect. (Load of crap) Just don't want the kids to know AGAIN that their dad is sick. I am a stay at home housewife now for about 5 years. Feel stuck. Can't make my own way. Only 54 too young to give up now.
I usually wear my feelings on my shirtsleeve so am wondering how I am gonna pull this one off.

There is a book called "Hope for the Separated" by Gary Chapman, the author of "Five Love Languages" that talks about the situation you are in -- wanting to forgive when really what your husband expects is that you will tolerate. He has no incentive to change if you are willing to stay under these circumstances.

I think that your children and grandchildren would benefit from your having the courage to throw him out -- or, at minimum, end sex until he gets therapy.