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I am having a hard time dealing with telling my H family on what is going on. Quick update I am the one with the husband who has met a woman at a vitamin shop, he told me he loved her and that he has no feelings for me married me from family pressure he is rewriting the past and making it sound like there was nothing good about our marriage.
#1 Husband told me he loved her, but now he tells me it meant nothing.
#2 Husband has a key to her shop and spends the nights there all night and he heals over there. she is apparently not there.
#3 Husband told me about past lives together that this is our 3rd life and we did not learn our lessons and that he stayed with me in past lives and he is not going to in this one. Psychic also told him he was with this ow in a past life.
#4 when I ask him about her and I ask if he will get together with her after he does not answer he cannot tell me they are just frinds. This makes me the sickest because our 3 children know this woman and have been in her shop several times while daddy was there when he had no feelings for her. I have a hard time with this because I hate to think what he is teaching the kids if he does go to her after.
#5 I have told two of H sisters and one has suggested that I only tell their parents that we are having problems and that I want to work them out. She does not think I need to tell the details and that If I do it will look like I am trying to make him look bad. His sister also thinks that because we were having problems before that this became his escape route. I think the real reason she does not want me to tell is her parents went through the same things as our marriage h was a workaholic and they are just getting their marriage to work better and they are in their 60s. My H also blames his parents for why he is like this that he does not spend much time with our kids because he was brough up that way. What sort of things should I tell his parents. I need some good advice. I feel stuck after talking to Husbands sister. She keeps thinking he will come out of it. I dont thinks so he is in his own little world about it all.

Hi,

IMHO, I recommend you give Steve or Jennifer a call.

U R on the border with this one. If he is blaming his parents, then they have a right to know. Maybe they did have something to do with it or he is rewriting his childhood as well. As you know you would not want to be lamblasted without being able to defend yourself, right?

His sister maybe well meaning in protecting her family. It can turn into enabling and give your in-laws the wrong impression about you.

As for your previous problems, they may be best to help you out. Via learning by experience. They c/b your best alies or worst enemies. Remember that is their son. I would approach it as 1 parent to another (to discuss about their son), then end it by saying you love their son but can't allow it to hurt your children more. Ask them how they feel about the affects on their grandchildren. Ask for their advice. Don't show disagreement. Just calmly listen even if you don't agree. It is important to see you are a reasonable person. It may help them get over the blood is thicker than water syndrome. No one wants a child that is headed in the wrong direction.

JMHO,
L.

One more thing, I would preface it by telling them that you have something important for them to know and that regardless of how it turns out, you would appreciate it if they would respect your decision.

L.