What do you think?

My H is an alcoholic, or so I thought. Could it be that with serious IC, H can become a social drinker?

H exhibited all of the signs of an alcoholic. Drank 6 – 12 cans of beer or more almost every day. Began to stay up after I went to bed so he could drink more (without me knowing about it). Would try to cut down or stop for a few days every time I spoke to him about his drinking, but the drinking would escalate until one night he would get totally smashed (about every 7 – 10 days). H would say he was sorry, wouldn’t happen again, blah, blah, blah and whole cycle would get repeated. He’s been doing this for 25 – 30 years.

H has been going to AA and I’ve been to two Al-anon meetings. I’ve been reading from the AA big book and there’s no distinction for “types” of alcoholics. The AA literature speaks of alcoholics drinking to minimize the pain they are feeling. What is this pain? Where does it come from? How do they deal with it after they stop drinking? When I saw the number of people at the last AA meeting my H went to, I immediately thought “are all these people in IC too?” AA speaks of turning yourself over to the higher power (God). It makes sense. H says he feels drawn to the meetings in a way he can’t explain. He feels for those people that have gone through so much worse than he has.

Interestingly enough, when I told my C that H was going to AA, she tells me that she doesn’t think that H is an alcoholic, that he just needs IC. I asked her how she could say that! She said that he never went through withdrawal when he stopped drinking (I never noticed any withdrawal symptoms either) and that she believes he drank to simply bury his painful feelings, inadequacies, low self-esteem, etc.!

C thinks there are different types of alcoholics…those that are truly addicted to alcohol, those that have addictive personalities, those that have issues to work out, etc. She asked if I noticed at AA that “most of the alcoholics were outside smoking before the meeting, drinking coffee or doing something else addictive instead of drinking?” She said this will continue until they find out the reasons for drinking (with IC) in the first place. They will substitute something else…become addicted to something else. Hmmmm…I’ve never heard this before and don’t see it addressed in the limited amount of AA and Al-anon material that I’ve read (so far). I’ll have to say, C’s outlook also makes sense.

My C does not specialize in addictions but H’s does. From what he tells me, I can’t see his C ever saying that when they get his issues worked out that he can drink again. She specializes in addictions because her H is an alcoholic.

Anyone have any thoughts or comments on this?