I have seen/heard recommendations for depression medication to help the WS get through the withdrawal period. My WH is now pretty much past the withdrawal from the OW, but is still depressed and considering meds. I want him to be happier, because our moods feed off each other, but I wonder if it's really a good idea.

Just like a recent post pointed out that the OP takes away the pain of knowing the damage the WS caused to others and to him/herself, medicine would do that too. I wonder if he needs to feel that pain in order to really commit himself to our marriage, as well as need to seek God's forgiveness.

Okay anti-depressants are for both spouses.

I would recommend Wellbutrin as one that is both affective and has few sexual side affects.

Pazil and Zoloft both had negative affects on my wife and my sex drives.

Quick warning most ADs take 4 to 6 weeks to start making a difference.

It's not unusual for a former WS to be sad after a break-up with the OP. Rather than consider medication, try to understand what your H is feeling.

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial"> Just like a recent post pointed out that the OP takes away the pain of knowing the damage the WS caused to others and to him/herself, medicine would do that too.</font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">These meds will not make you forget and are not really not recommended for mild sadness or situational depression. While these 'new meds' have their success stories, they can also be disastrous.

The deciding factor for medicating is whether or not the depression is so severe that it is difficult for the individual to function from one day to the next or task to task. If you H is doing well at work, with family, friends, and other activities then he is probably not a candidate for anti-depressants.

The meds are designed to take the edge off and even out the extreme emotional ups and downs that an individual frequently experiences while in a depressive state. In other words, they can bring you up when you're feeling down, or worse, bring you down when you're feeling up.

Good Luck.

Hello

Both my W and I are on anti D's. They are not a "magic pill" they just help things to not be so overwhelming. I think this is something that you have to speak to your personal physician about, he should be the one who recommends the product and the dosage that you take. Often times Dr.'s have samples that will allow you to see some of the effect of the anti D. It is true you have to take them for 4-6 weeks to really know if it will be effective or not. AntiD's will not make you happier they do help you to stay focused on your recovery.

When I explained to my Dr why I was so depressed he said "no pill will help you get over that" but he still wrote a prescription for Lexipro.
H

Devoted Dad,

I am VERY sorry to hear you are going thru this.. This is truely the devil's greatest work - destroying families.

I am sure you have realized by now that you are in a great place for support. Shore yourself up on every side - get as much support as possible and it will help you heal. Remember that with or without her - you will come away from this experience a better person.

I have found so much useful information on this web site and my husband's affair is still very fresh (It lasted 8 months - 2 years - not sure when it started in my own home - d-day was 9/11/03)

Sometimes when our WS's are in the "fog" so many hurtful things can be said that cut right to the core of us. While you are working toward being strong for your family & kids - you will have times when you don't want to be the strong one... Hang onto the happy memories you have with your wife. All the moments that = happiness. They can be the obvious big ones (marriage, birth of kids, vacations, etc... , but ALSO look and think about the little everyday moments too. Make a list if you have to and read it when you feel rotten. This will help you fulfill Plan A.

I wish you all the best in keeping your family together and will pray for peace in your heart.