Hi,I want to thank everybody especially you quipper for reading my post.I HAVE HAD AN emotional affair the past 2 years with coworker.My wife and I get along great,we still joke with one another and I hug hear tell her how much I love her,we have even kissed,two weeks ago we made love foe the first time since july.She was the one who started it.in dec. her and our 2 little girls are moving to apt. she has been out buying furniture and getting the kids excited.She says she loves me but not enough to stay married.she has told me she cant live married to me while Im still working with the other ow.Our divorce is in january and Iam not giving up.My kids and i just surprised her in chicago last weekend while she was working.We had a great time,she says she had a great timeand would like to come back later this month when she has to go back up.Im trying to give her space but I MISS HER!ANY good advice or thoughts.THANKS AGAIN

I can fully understand your BW for there can be no marital recovery as long as the WS(YOU) is in contact with the OP(your OW). Have you done anything about finding another job?

You need to take radical measures to end the A and prove to your W that you really want the M. Actions speak louder then words.

So I ask you, what have you done that truly proves the A is over and you want to work on your M?

Have you changed jobs? Have you ended the EA with your Co-worker properly? Have you started counseling of any sort? Are you willing to write up a N/C letter to your Co-worker and never see her again?

I know flying to Chicago can sound like a monsterous move to working on things, but there are many other things that you can do to prove so.

Being here is a great start!

Why should she reconsider when you won't even end contact with the OW? If you aren't willing to do that, she shouldn't be willing to reconsider the divorce.

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial"> she has told me she cant live married to me while Im still working with the other ow.Our divorce is in january and Iam not giving up. </font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">What are you not giving up? Working with OW or your marriage?

Seems you can't have both and your wife knows what she needs to begin her recovery. Until you are ready to stop working with OW she should not stop the divorce.

If you want your wife, your marriage and your little girls .. you know what to do.

way2

I want to reiterate the point the others are making. The way it sounds you still have a chance to save your M. You need to LISTEN to what your W is telling you. She doesn't trust you and feels completely disrespected because you continue to work with your OW. LOSE THE JOB! Don't make excuses to her why you have to stay there. Don't try to tell her it will be okay now because you've learned your lesson. I'm telling you from experience, nothing you can do or say short of quitting your job ASAP and showing her that her feelings come before everything else is going to get you where you say you want to be. Good Luck!