Hello everyone! I don't get out here very often anymore but have been thinking of sending a "good note" for a change. Some of you will remember me, Fonzee and my husband, Can't think of a name. For those of you who don't, well then I just want to give you a little bit of hope.
I've been wanting to get out here and write up a big long very informational message to you, but this might not be it. I decided to look around out here a bit tonight and I see that my H posted a sweet message back on October 31, I didn't know he was out here much anymore either. Since I found that I decided to just post something quickly to let you all know how much you helped us out!
We used the "controlled separation" agreement and it was what saved our marriage, IMO. My H was the one who needed the space and I agreed to it. Well during our separation we dated each other and we grew back to each other bigger and better than ever! We courted each other and looked forward to spending time together, alone or with our daughters.
When I came home, we continued the "date nights, family dates, relationship talk nights". Okay, one thing I want to point out...I planned A'd it as best as I possibly could, the entire time, when the problems first arose, while we tried to work on it, while we were separted, etc...it was very hard at some points in time. I was very fortunate to have this board and my church family and friends encouraging me to do the right thing and continue to plan A! It works....really it does, and I do my best to continue it at home...my husband does also!
Anyway, when H first asked me to move home...it wasn't because he loved me and he told me that. It was because he was lonely, he missed the girls (we shared visitation, but he only had them half the time), he was struggling financially and domestically. He gave me a list of reasons he wanted me to come home...love was not on the list but what was on the list was that he wanted to try to get it back. I chose to come home because I loved him dearly and I knew in my heart, that his love for me would come back too.
I moved home on July 1, on July 24th, our 10 year anniversary...I got the best present ever...my H told me "I love you" and even though it caught me off guard, I knew he meant it more than ever.
We have grown so close and love and respect each other more now than we ever have. It feels great! We have had lots of ups and downs in our 10 years of marriage...this one can easily be labled our worst down...but it is also our best up! (does that make sense?)
Anyway...to those of you who read our posts and posted back...many thanks to you all. To those of you who are coming here for the same reasons we did...you think there's no hope and why bother continuing to try...my advice to you is to stay here, read, post, take advice and plan A and don't LB! It can come back...there is hope! And when you get it back...continue doing all the things you did to get it back! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Embarrassed]" src="images/icons/blush.gif" /> )
Take care...fonzee
