I have been in a relationship for 6 years, due to marry in June. We have been engaged for a year now and I just found out that my significant other had a one night stand 2 years ago. I am having a difficult time forgiving.

Part of me wants to remain and work things out but this isn't the first lie that's been told. The first time, she met someone online and went to a local restaurant to meet him. The second time, she went to the mall with an old fling. The cheating episode is the most recent. After some prodding, she did confess to each one of these endeavors.

Can someone out there give me some direction??? I am extremely hurt and going through the motions. Like I said, part of me wants to work things out but the other part feels like I'm setting myself up for more hurt. She has offered to do anything to repair our relationship but is it worth it?

Hi there and welcome,

Although it is unfortunate to find yourself here,you have come to a great place for support in such matters. As sad as it may sound, you probably need to call of the wedding, at least for now, in my opinion.

June is almost right around the corner and you have a serious issue to deal with now.Getting married, I hope you realize, will only make matters worse and if you have read some of the posts here,dealing with infidelity is infinitely more painful when marriage and kids are involved.

The fact that your "fiance" wants to work things out right now is a positive thing. You may feel confused and scared but professional help may be your best bet.

Just about every relationship has problems and if everyone gave up after the first "crisis" there would be so many more divorces and single people out there than there are now.

At the very least, a counselor,that you both get along with,could help you explore what is happening in your relationship and may even make it better *before you get married.It is always the most painful when you first find out about a wayward spouse or partner so please consider seeing a counselor,either alone or better yet, with your fiance and don't give up just yet. We here have all been in a similar situation and it is because we love or partners/spouses that we are commited to working things out before throwing in the towel,so to speak.

Take care.

October <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />

Hello,

This is just my opinion but you have just received a glimpse of what you future will be if you marry this woman. She has a pattern of lying to you and going out with other men behind your back. These have been the ones you have only caught her with. The most important red flag of course is that she decides to have sex in a one night stand putting your health at risk 7 months before your marriage?
I think it would be a huge mistake to marry her.
She is in the midst of planning your marriage and she goes and screws somebody in a one night stand?
Of course she is willing to do anything for you to keep getting married to you. How much worse will it be after you get married. Look she has a pattern of hanging out with other men behind your back and now recently had sex with another man. It seems you refuse to see what is front of your eyes. She cheats on you while she is engaged to you. Do you really need to have a piano to fall on your head to open your eyes? I think she has shown you what her character is. Do you really wish to deal with this after you are married and have children? It is your life but the reason people date before they get married is to find out about the person before they get married. A woman who is engaged to be married in 7 months does not have a one night stand behind your back.
It seems pretty obvious dosen't it? I think you need to find someone else in your future who will respect you and your relationship. This woman does neither. Good luck.

whattodonow,
this is what dating is suppose to be all about, learning what the other is about.

Have you learned yet??

I say ditto to what Bryanp has said!

Yet, there may be hope,, naybe she has never learned what her own needs are, and therefor you are not, and will not learn to meet them as well.
I would defineatly either call off the wedding for now, or post-pone it.
Open your eyes now, and not after the marriage, you may find yourself down another painful/stressful path in later days!!!

Quite often ones past, is a real "taste" of ones future!!!

Do you think you're going to change her? Do you think she's thinking about you when she's in a certain position? In other words, do you think she's selfish?? How does/did it feel each time you found out? Do you think that wil change after the wedding? The pain will! it'll actually be increased!

Is there something maybe you're scared of? Do you trhink maybe there will/can be no other? There are good girls out there.

Do you need anynore red flags??