Well I'm just past 8 months since my WW confesed and left on dday to continue her affair.

And about 5 months since she said she couldn't talk with me as she needed time and space.

We have talked 4 or five times and I Plan "A" when I could. But still no changes as the affair continues.

Our last conversation (3 weeks ago) I was told our marriage was over a long time ago and that we did talk about our problems. Of course I asked if she could tell me what we discussed and my WW had no response. - We never talked about what she felt was wrong or needed.

I do know from the OM wife that he is fence sitting and emotional unstable swinging from calm to angry and somewhat irrational while still trying to justify his actions. Oh ya he now calls the affair "dating".

I'm beginning to think that my WW is happy with her choice to leave me and be with the OM.

I seem to be growing sadder with the reality that my marriage may actualy be over as it appears my wife is a Walk Away Wife.

I just don't know what to do next?

One more thing if I may. I've noticed that many WS seem to come around just prior to or during the divorce proceedings. As though that date is decission time for the WS.

Am I reading this correct??

gg:

I think you're reading it correctly, but don't FILE unless it's what you want. Don't make it a bluff. If she's still undecided, she may want 2 rebuild if you do file. But she may not. In plan B, you should be preparing yourself for a life alone, because that is a potential outcome.

You're not yet in plan B, are you? If you feel you've done a good plan A, you might consider the change. But draft a letter for feedback here before you do.

I think you have work still 2 do.

best,
-2long

Hi goodguy007

I second 2long. Do not file to push things. Only if you feel confortable with it. (Can anyone that wants recovery can really feel confortable with it?). Anyway, maybe you need closure or lost all hope.

But as someone told me, you have to let time pass for you to reach that desicion. You can not haste it, because maybe you will regret if you have done something or waited some more could have made the difference.

As also this person told me, you will file when the pain to change becomes lesser than the pain of staying the same.

Take care

I would never threaten Divorce or use it or anything else for that matter as some kind of bluff.

I know I will not be alone as I have alot to offer. I would just like the oppertunity to save my marriage.

What confuses me the most and concerns me on some level is watching the woman I know and love change into the type of person that is truely opposite to who she was.

My wife has damaged every aspect of her life to be with this OM. And yet this guy continues to fence sit with his wife, lie to my WW about his actions and yet my WW hangs on to the relationship. Go Figure.

The woman I married would have never put up with that type of crap from me or any other man.

Life goes on I guess...

gg:

You know, of course, that there's no sense in trying 2 make sense of her behavior. You'll only get your bowels in an uproar <img border="0" title="" alt="[Wink]" src="images/icons/wink.gif" />

I think you're on the right track, though I sure know that it doesn't feel like it when you're in the thick of it.

You're a good man, gg.
-2long