Well I think I said it all in my heading, HUH?

WS moved out of OW house and went to go live at aunts, he has changed his cell and is now changing his email, but he still works in her area <img border="0" title="" alt="[Frown]" src="images/icons/frown.gif" /> (she is a police officer, as was he until 6 mos ago) he has asked me to work on our relationship, but this is our maybe 15th attempt this year, he's back and fourth, not only has me drained, but is a BIG LB on my feelings! And I feel it, and it's so sad. I was hoping to do a plan b, but then he moved out of her house and wants to work on us?

Here it goes, I know your suppose to believe and hope that this time.....maybe this time it will be different. I mean HE is doing something different this time by moving into his aunts, but I say it doesn't matter what you do, if you don't want to be there, then there is nothing you need to do because you don't want to be there! Right? In other words, if he doesn't want to be with the OW that should be it, but I feel he changed his #, his email, his job but nothing...nothing is going to stop him from seeking her out if HE WANTS TO!

How do I do this again? I'm so tired, scared, aggravated, sad, and STRESSED! I've even lost my hair! Can you believe this, MY HAIR <img border="0" title="" alt="[Eek!]" src="images/icons/shocked.gif" /> !

Does anyone have any suggestions? We can't afford Dr. Harvey at this time, he and I are barley making ends meet (he's salary went down $70,000.00) we are barely floating!!!!!

Originally posted by onebreathatatime:

Here it goes, I know your suppose to believe and hope that this time.....maybe this time it will be different.

I DO NOT assume that this statement is true. I don't think you are "supposed to believe" .... anything.

I know that I have a personal limit. I know that my spiritual, physical, emotional resources are limited.

I have decided where my personal limit is based on long personal reflection, prayer, and examination of my ethical foundation.

I know that protecting my boundaries will not make my life free from pain and loss. But my boundaries will protect my integrity and support my healthier self.

I made a list of conditions that I required to stay in a marriage after infidelity. The conditions were more about my principles and my beliefs than about WH and his thoughts, and his words.

I looked at reasons for leaving, and what part of myself would want to leave a marriage. Would my leaving the marriage come from my stronger self ... or from my weaker self?

Same thing for staying and doing "watchful-waiting". Is my stronger/healthier self the one pressing to stay, or my weaker self?

This requires clear and brutal self-examination on your part.

What are your principles and your beliefs about yourself that will guide your decision making.

You cannot build a life on what someone "might do" .... that's a weak foundation.

*Who you become in a crisis* ...can either help or hurt you.

If you can find your weak areas, and strengthen those parts of your character, your dilemma takes on a different perspective.

Start from your most powerful place, not your weakest.

Pep