Coupled with everything else that's been going wrong, I was laid off today.

I'm a little scared about what is going to happen next.

it seems that my life has been nothing but trials over the last few years. I'm just wondering when things are finally going to turn around for me.

I haven't informed x yet. I'm trying to avoid his lughter and the "Good you got what was coming to you" attitude.

I'm only happy that they let Mr. Hands go too! A small comfort in such a difficult situation.

<small>[ December 11, 2003, 09:35 AM: Message edited by: God-within-kily ]</small>

Kily I'm so sorry to hear this, for I also got laid off last April after many years of working for my previous employer. Even though I have yet to get a full time job, I've been able to take advantage of temporary employment which has greatly helped me from getting into a funk. Hopefully next year will be a better year and the job offers will take off.

As far as your XBF kicking you for losing your job, that may turn out not be the case at all. Sometimes the people we least expect to offer us a sympathetic ear are the ones that often do.

Kily-

I am sorry to hear about the loss of your job. You hear all the talk about job cuts, but it is different when it hits us personally.

Kily,

I don't think there is anything so unsettling as losing a job. It strikes at many levels. Just a question. At one point you were going to go back to school to get your degree in engineering. Did you ever do that?? Is now a good time to consider it with perhaps a parttime job, or a loan??

Doors close and doors open, but I know it is hard to see that when a major part of your life just got ripped out from under you.

Hang in there, and know you are in our thoughts.

God Bless,

JL

Hi Kily

I also lost my old job after all the pain and craziness that followed the months after dday.

Spent 2 more months doing nothing, and it took me 3 days of hard looking to find another job.

God is watching over us! keep the faith you will find something

Take care

Kily,

I am very sorry for the loss of your job. I realize that the timing makes it seem worse. It will get better. Check your mail when you get a chance. My thoughts are with you.

NW

So sorry K! I'll keep you in my thoughts and prayers.

I'm sure something better is around the corner, my dear one.

Take care
HP

Oh Kily, what a bu**er. It really does suck. I know how awful it can make you feel on top of everything else.

Please don't worry. I am a strong believer in what will be will be. I am sure there will be something better soon for you.

Wishing you well and thinking of you in London.
Lisa

Killy,

God has plan for us. HE would never forsake us and never abandon us. I was laid off last September, when my severance run out HE gave me a part time job. I need those time to heal and take care of myself. My parttime job is a blessing, I am making it month 2 month but I have time for my 2 D and going to school & devoted more to volunter helping others.

Start telling people that you need a job, start going through your Rolodex. Don't let x bugs you. Take this time to improve your skill by going to school.

-rh-

Kily,
YOU have been on my mind for two days now. I need to know how you are. I think a lot of us worry about you.

Are you OK? Calm? Trusting God to Help?

Still praying for you.

SS

Yes, Kily, I'm thinking of you too.

How is it going? Please stop by and let us know.

Take care,
HP

Hi All-

I just constructed an answer to each of you and then blew it away by accident. What a bummmer!

Let's try this again-

I have been away from the boards because I haven't had a free minute to myself! The kids are great and DS absolutely LOVES having mom home. It's been a big adjustment for me, but I am enjoying that part of this situation.

TMCM-
Thanks for sharing. I have considered temporary employment. At this time, I have a plan in place and I'm going to follow the call that I am hearing in my heart. I will likely take that type of employment if I find myself in a mode where I am at my wits end. I'm not there yet!

STTSI-
At least I don't have to deal with Mr. Hands anymore! Too bad I didn't get the chance to do that diaper trick! You and the mrs. are in my heart. Once times get better for me, I will be in touch again. I hope you both are well.

JL-
Isn't it funny how people seem to just KNOW things. Yes, we did discuss this a few months back therefore you know that I was prepared. I do have a plan, and I am hearing a spiritual call on this. It's difficult to face the fear of the unknown, but

OOPS, I'm mreally clumsy with this laptop!

anyway, I started to say that it's hard to face the fear of the unknown, but based on what I've just gone through...I know that I will get through this. More to come on my thoughts and plans later...

Matilde-
Thanks so much for sharing your story. I agree with your views. I believe that this absolutely HAD to happen as part of my healing. There was too much baggage attached to that place and in order for me to truly become the person that I need to be, this had to happen. I sincerely hope that I will be able tot find a job as quickly as you did. Somehow, I have this feeling that things will "Click" exactly when thtey need to...

nw-
Thanks so much for the support and friendship. Yes, It's a difficult situation, but I truly was ready. I was only shocked by the timing and by the fact that my boss was also let go. That saddened me because he has two very young children, a wife that only works part time, and a mortgage. He could lose his house. I already lost all that so there isn't so far for me to fall right now.

HP-
Hi! I have to believe that our hard work and searching for answers will lead us to better things. We have both come through some very hard things. I do believe that I have learned so much, and right now, I am extremeley vulnerable to falling into my old ways, BUT, I know myself very well and refuse to run away. I will be okay and I know that better things are about to start happening. I have a plan- read on.

LIL-
It's so nice to see you on the board. I often wownder how your life is going. I suspect that I am about to embark on a very incredible journey. Much love to you...and don't worry, I'm going to be fine.

RH-
It tmeans the world to me that you have posted such encouragement to me. I recognize the truth in what you say here. I also know in my heart that this is the first step in a life where I choose to be 100% KILY. I am awake, I am listeninng, and I am grateful for the lesson that I am learning. My kids are benfitting from this, as yours did. I find that to be the most important thing in all of this.

SS-

First I want to say that I LOVE YOU! Tell your wife that I'm not hitting on you! Sincerely, you have continued to urge me to look towards my spiritual side for answers. You have challenged me to face my fears when I wanted to crawl under a rock and die. You are a complete stranger, yet you reach out to me as if I were a family member. It hasa helped me tremendously.

Yes, I am okay. I am at peace for the most part. I spend a lot of time meditating and asking for answers. Your prayers have helped and I will share my thoughts and reflections in a while...

Next post will be about reflections, plans, emotions, etc.

Love to you all-

Kily,

I'm glad to see you here. I don't come here much anymore and I just thought that I would lurk a little today. I was beginning to worry because you had not responded to my email. I thought that maybe it is because you do not have access right now. I was going to call but I misplaced your #.

Anyway I'm glad to hear that you are ok. Get a hold of me when you have time and feel like it.

NW

NW-

Yes, my access is limited. I will send you an email and will be in touch soon.

All-

now my update:

Three weeks prior to my ybeing laid off, I began to pray for movement in my life. some of you are aware that I had a dream where a female voice told me that I would be going bankrupt. Also, most of you know that I have been in a slump at my job for some time.

Well, I told my higher power that I was ready for the next lesson in my life. I asked for help that would allow me to settle the rest of the ties between X and I. I asked for guidance with my financial outlook. I asked that the path to my next jouorney please be revealed to me because I wanted to move forward from where I was.

Well, I believe in my heart that this job loss was an answer to all of that praying. Yes, it's a hard thing to have happen. I sincerely was at acceptance though as I sat in the conference room with the personnell director.

For the last couple of days prior to my being let go, I now see that I was treasuring my commute ride, and the area that I worked in. Something deep inside knew that things weren't ever going to be that way again and started to be grateful for what would be missed in days to come.

Anyway, as I said, I think that this is divine intervention and I'm still trying to evaluate everything to find the right answer to "What's next".

Some thoughts about what has happened since that day...
I was given six weeks severence pay so I will have my full pay check until january 2.
I will receive enough $ from unemployment to cover my bills until the end of June.
I have enough money in savings to do one of the following things:
1. Pay off the creidt card debt.
or
2. Give it to my lawyer and go after the child support and FINALLY settle the house.

My thoughts are that it would be really easy to pay the debt and take that relief from my head and heart. THis ending the possibility of bankruptcy.

My prayers though were for a way to come up with the finances to finally get things settled. It's a hard call, but that is most likely how I will approach things.

My attitude it is that X will ikely have to pay me between 12 and 1400 a month. Once unemploiyment ends, this would be the only source of $ that I would have for DS and I to live on. Technically, he is responsible for his son, and if I can't find a job, I will NEED this.

My attitude on the house matter has changed quite a bit too. i realized that he has been living off of MY credit for years and that the house is EQUALLY ours. I'm done accepting his warped angered view of what is - because I left, I deserve nothing - and I finally see that I do have rights and I'm willing to go to court and settle. I will never again have enough $ available to pay the lawyers so I think it's time to end this.

I also recognize that at this time, there is sno way that a court would take DS from me because I am there for him now 24/7.

So, my plan is to enroll in school full time in January. I know that some might be disappointed, but I don't thtink I will finish the Engineering Degree. I think that I am being called into the healing field - I'm not certain yet if I am to be nursing, teachihng, or doing clinical work with troubled souls. I do recognize that i have learned what I needed to from my prior field and I do NOT have the energy or desire to have to keep PROVING my value in a male dominated field where women are truly NOT welcomed.

Also, I checked and it is legal to attend school while collecting as long as it doesn't interfere with a job search. I've sent out quite a few resumes and have an interview on Wednesday for a job completely unrelated to anything I've ever done before.

Anyway, I'm still fluctuating on career choice and the money decisions. As usual, your thoughts and opinions are truly welcomed and greatly appreciated.

By the way, does anyone know how to change the settinigs on the computer to get rid of a double bounce from a keystroke? I'm having major issues with this laptop...

Goddess Kily:

"When a [wo]man finds [her]his way, heaven is gentle"

-Original "Kung Fu" TV series.

...well, it's a lot deeper than a for2ne cookie, isn't it? <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />

best,
-ol' 2long

I knew you'd be OK, I knew something better would come along <img border="0" title="" alt="[Wink]" src="images/icons/wink.gif" /> Maybe I should pack the day job in and go in for crystal ball reading <img border="0" title="" alt="[Razz]" src="images/icons/tongue.gif" />

As to how to use the money, only you will be able to decide that one. Your gut and your believe will guide you to the right decision. As you know, I am not a religious person, but you have faith and that has helped you move forward and address your demons. Take your time, do some practical things, like a list of pros and cons for each option. When the time is right, you will have your decision.

Keep us posted Kily. Thinking of you and wishing you well.

Lisa

Hi Kily

I don't post much to you, but this one I read.

If you decide to go the nursing route, (depending upon your state requirements and stuff) you might want to look into hospital jobs, especially nursing Assisant (some places call the PCA). The reason why I suggest this if you chose the nursing field, is some hospitals/nursing homes, will pay or reimburse you for your tuition if you go into nursing. I just graduated from nursing school. From my observations, those who were already working or had current medical background were some of the first hired. Plus, most facilities give preferential treatment when making hiring decisions to internal before external applicants. (just wanted to offer some of my observations over the last year if you chose this route).

Good luck to you in whatever you decide to do in your future.

Tell your wife that I'm not hitting on you!
I sent her a link, but have received no comment. Sometimes she reads my posts, but not much lately. She always seems to be busy this time of year. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Wink]" src="images/icons/wink.gif" />

Sincerely, you have continued to urge me to look towards my spiritual side for answers. You have challenged me to face my fears when I wanted to crawl under a rock and die.

All of us see this place sometime in our lives. It is usually a different experience for each of us, but the feelings are the same. I have been there myself, and probably will be again. I am not a stranger to God, he knows me, and I know him. He can be depended upon.

You are a complete stranger, yet you reach out to me as if I were a family member.
I am tempted to tease you and say: "can't you remember me? I grew up with you." I won't though, because it doesn't fit very well.

How about this - we are all the children of God, and he expects us to help each other. Someday He will interview me, and your name will come up. I want to be able to say I did all I could to help. It's that, but it is more than that also. I believe you understand. It's not just duty that compels me to reach out. Love plays a big part too. I believe my W understands, because she teaches me about service every day I spend with her. The bottom line is that you really are family. Will that work for you?

It has helped me tremendously.
I am very glad, and thank you for the kind words. It gives me great joy to see you where you are now.

Yes, I am okay. I am at peace for the most part. I spend a lot of time meditating and asking for answers. Your prayers have helped and I will share my thoughts and reflections in a while...Next post will be about reflections, plans, emotions, etc.

See, I was worried. I don't know everything, in fact, very far from that. Sometimes under great pressure we wilt, and I worried about you. Not that you are weak, but I know the strain has been great. I am glad you are doing so well. You have a great deal of work ahead of you still, but you are a worker, so I doubt you are afraid of that.

So, my plan is to enroll in school full time in January. I know that some might be disappointed, but I don't think I will finish the Engineering Degree. I think that I am being called into the healing field - I'm not certain yet if I am to be nursing, teaching, or doing clinical work with troubled souls.
Good, more people like you are needed. People that care deeply for others, and have skill and intelligence too. I believe this is the right direction for you.

Anyway, I'm still fluctuating on career choice and the money decisions. As usual, your thoughts and opinions are truly welcomed and greatly appreciated.
I really don't know about the money stuff. I have always wanted to be debt free. I hate owing interest, I hate paying it. You really should seek support from ex, he ought to take care of his responsibilities. Sad that it may require compulsion for him to do that. I don't know what to tell you - both things are good. This is one area where God may be able to let you see ahead and know things we can't know without his help. I hope it is.

By the way, does anyone know how to change the settings on the computer to get rid of a double bounce from a keystroke? I'm having major issues with this laptop...
No. I and don't sing or dance well either.


I am so happy to find you doing so well. Enjoy your holiday, you may never get this much time with your children ever again.

"Hello, yes, this is Kily.......What's that? you are having problems with your H? Yes, I think I can help."

Hope that brought you a smile -

SS

<small>[ December 12, 2003, 04:54 PM: Message edited by: still seeking ]</small>