Well, after all my positive advice lately, I need some too.

My husband and I were at our counseling session today after being together all last week which we both thought was good.So now,it appeared that my husband is still confused as to what he wants and since he is going away to another state for a 3 month work job,he decided along with the counselor that we will be "officially" seaprated.

I am a complete wreck right now. I am in so much pain I think I need to call someone.The one person that I need to talk to and have help me and hug me is the one I have to let go.We had to tell our children too which is all the more painful.We had Thanksgiving and Christmans planned out but now,that has to be worked out too.

What am I supposed to do with my love and feelings for this man now that he will be leaving in a week? This is sooo hard.All I keep thinking is he will be talking to that OW but she is actually in another country so hopefully not but what can I count on now.He erased her contact info on his cell phone but I have to think about us being separated now.This is so awful

I amsupposed to not talk too much or at all while he is away and he isn't supoosed to talk to me much or at all either so he can decide what to do,miss us/me or be a bachelor again.I think I already know the answer. He is tired of family life and wants to be out seeing people,having a good time and not be married.I don't think he really believes in marriage and the commitment anymore.It doesn't suit his mind right now so he is going to let that go too.ugh <img border="0" alt="[Teary]" title="" src="graemlins/teary.gif" />

Octobergirl

Don’t be surprised if H begins to miss his family after being gone for three months with no contact. You can bet that he will think about you and his daughters quiet a bit while he is gone.

Maybe a happy photograph of you and the girls taken during the holidays will help stir his emotions? He might begin to think that you and the girls can live without him just fine! Thoughts like that will make him question his decisions and are bound to bring him a large dose of reality.

Beau

Octobergirl - Not alot to offer in advice , just a bit to share. I here ever word that you said,
"HE has to decide and you think he will choose BACHELER life , fun and free , ect. Not thinking family life is his thing "

MY FWS had a personality of FREEDOM , when I told him to get out , I figured he would never return I convined myself , I knew he and OW where having fun (and they where) The get up and go life no ties no commitment , nothing to hold him down no one to account to .

He really has that personality , BUT he was gone 8 months, yep it sucked , but not all of it .

It was my time to grow , see what I was loosing (that hurt) rember what we where together and where the connection went wrong .

After some of those thoughts I had to find out WHO I WAS and who I could be if he didn't return .

WHAT IS MY POINT , no suger coating it hurts , but you can make the most of this time for you and your children , I know you will dwell on the what is he doing ? who is he speaking to ?

Please take this as your opertunity for freedoom , something you may not want but somehting that can be a blessing for YOU a chance to really think about YOU .

THE MOST IMPORTANT PERSON IN ALL THIS AND THE MOST IMPORTANT PERSON EVER YOU !

Your worth, YOUR emotional well being , your courage , weakness, and strenght .

GET a sitter for kids for at least once a week if not 2x's .

Do something alone , and if the opertunity permits something with a freind on the other night . Have a plan of focuse , keep a jurnal during this time and post here if needed to prevent yourself from contacting him .

Take care and I hope you feel better with each day .

Don't know the whole story , sorry if nothing I said, made sense . BUT the feelings in separtation for all of us are very simalar .

It will be tough but you will become stronger though this sounds nuts right now.

On DDAY in march 03 my WW left. Then in June 03 she went no-contact on me so she could "think". Continue affair with out me in her life was my observation.

It was very tough knowing she was with OM and having a great summer together while I was alone.

Yet I wasn't - friends, family, new activities and myself.

Read some books about grieving as you are likely to feel all kinds of emotions and the books will help you understand what your going through and why.

Now this is going to be hard to accept but don't be surprised if the affair starts up again. Remember the words "officialy separated"

This is you husbands pass and justification to do what he wants with out being responsable to the marriage in his mind. Prepare your self for that possability.

good luck