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Joined: Jan 2003
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<small>[ January 26, 2005, 02:55 PM: Message edited by: stumblinalong ]</small>
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Joined: Sep 2001
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</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Originally posted by marriedandlonely: <strong>Any input is very much appreciated. </strong></font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Plan A is not forever and you are kidding yourself if you think you are in recovery. Recovery starts when SO works on M, it is not there yet.
I would take a very short vacation, say ... 3 days. Book a vacation or go to your distance family far away. Pack your bags and tell your H that you need to take care yourself for 3 days and H will have to take care of the kids. You need to retreat otherwise your LB$ for him could go kaput!. Think hard during those days, do you have in you to continue plan A or start looking option plan B and how.
-rh-
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Joined: Jan 2003
Posts: 478
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<small>[ January 26, 2005, 02:58 PM: Message edited by: stumblinalong ]</small>
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Joined: Mar 2003
Posts: 2,251
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I guess I think that SH is absolutely right. You two are not in recovery and you really need a plan for recovery. The MB weekends are great for that. I'm sure SH can do it very effectively one-on-one, also.
I don't think redhat was suggesting a Plan B, but was instead suggesting that you really truly take some time for yourself. For some much-needed short-term relief, not as a mechanism to effect change with your H.
I guess I basically have two questions for you:
- How much time do you spend with your husband doing stuff you both enjoy?
- How much time to you spend with your husband on Relationship Talks?
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Joined: Jan 2003
Posts: 478
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<small>[ January 26, 2005, 03:00 PM: Message edited by: stumblinalong ]</small>
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Joined: Mar 2003
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Hmm. Hmm. Sounds like y'all need to remember how to spend time together talking about things that you both enjoy, and doing things that you both enjoy.
Easy to say, hard to do.
But can you find half an hour to try to get him to open up about his latest History channel find or his latest stock watch?
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Joined: May 2003
Posts: 126
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i hope the people who read your post will realize that having an affair while being married can be such a devistating thing. i hope you and your husband will be able to work things out, save the marriage, and live a happy life together. why don't you let him know that you need some affection and comforting since this affair happened? ask him if he even gives a damn about the marriage. i tell you what, i would be madder than hell if my wife did this to me. have a serious talk with your H and let him know exactly how you feel and what you would like to revise.
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Joined: Jan 2003
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<small>[ January 26, 2005, 03:03 PM: Message edited by: stumblinalong ]</small>
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