Man, I tried. I've gone to counseling, Bible studies, prayer and come here trying to seek the right advice on how to bring my marriage back together.
As of today there is no hope of my marriage ever surviving. My WH has been completely indifferent pretty much all along. I was the fool. He kept telling me that I was never much of a woman and that is why he started "searching" elsewhere to fulfill his needs.
He admits to an affair w/ his sec. Ok, I could have worked through that. He wasn't willing to protect me and end contact w/ her. He was having and affair w/ some poverty stricken girl (and I stress girl) in Cuba. Still, I was hoping to put that all behind us and build something new. BUT NO! He kept on hiding emails and all sorts of other crap that didn't protect me and our marriage.
So it came down to me doing all of the work all by myself. He just kept pointing the finger at me and telling me I was the one w/ all the faults and the problems. Whatever! I had to unfortunately file for a divorce to protect our marital assets b/c he kept spending money and not telling me what he was spending it on. He had secret bank accounts and all kinds of other secrets. I never wanted a divorce, I wanted my H to come back to the man I once knew. Didn't happen.
So now we are in the beginning stages of a divorce and he is living in a seperate house from me and the kids. Today I discovered that he has been hanging out in a particular bar and actually got himself a very expensive hotel room last month w/ God know who!!!
He claims to be broke (totally not true) and has not been paying normal bills, you know... health insurance, car insurance, car payment, braces for son and school tuition. How can he afford hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and even more on a hotel room?!
You see, I thought he might be sad and lonely at the prospect of losing me and his children. Now it's clear that not only has he had a fling w/ a sec. and some teen in Cuba, but he's now having sex w/ someone new who he's meeting in a bar. I have no choice any longer. I can't be w/ him even if I wanted to be. He's nothing but damaged goods right now. I would be afraid to shake his hand right now in fear of my own hand falling off!
God, why am I so surprised by all of this? Why did I think for a second that he may be missing me and maybe come back w/ some kind of remorse?!
