Let me first go on record - I am the BS. Now:

My dream last night:

The OM was faceless, but OMG, did I feel the attraction, the "love", the infatuation, the sexual pull. It was so strong. I could not wait to see him again, talk to him. I couldn't get enough of him...my appetite was unending.

Then I was around my H, whom I love deeply. It was a horrible feeling in the pit of my gut, almost like I woke up and realized what I had done - how can I make this go away? I was consumed with guilt, thought I could never look my H in the eye again. Considered leaving my M rather than acknowledging what I had done.

...then I saw the OM again. We snuck away to be together again.

I was powerless.

I was addicted.

I was awash in guilt.

I wanted the excitement of the OM.

I wanted the deep love of my H.

I wanted my M.

<end of dream> Amazing!

This made me understand what my WH - and others - are living through. We hear about how conflicted they are, about the pain.

I now believe it and hope it will give me some compassion if my WH ever decides to come back and my Plan B ends.

*S*

<small>[ December 08, 2003, 07:19 PM: Message edited by: *Sparkle* ]</small>

Scary huh!! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Eek!]" src="images/icons/shocked.gif" /> Sometimes those dreams can seem sooooo real!!!!

Hold tight to the understanding this dream gives you, *S*. It's a priceless gift, and one that I want for all BSs to have. The compassion that arises from understanding is an absolutely key element to healing and rebuilding. I'm so totally amazed that you've been given such a powerful gift, to be able to experience all that a WS experiences without having to experience it in reality where the damage can be unending. Dunno if you're a believer or not, but there's certainly some thanks to be given for this one!

Oh yeah, I am a believer. My most powerful dreams are always Sat. nite before church. Some of them actually have foretold the future...scary!

But yes, God has my attention! And yes, I am extraordinarily grateful for this gift.

*S*

My WH told me once a few years ago that he had a dream about me,that it was like when we first started dating and he had these really great feelings for me.It was like a gift,as someone else mentioned.

I pray for my WH to have that again,it was very powerful to him then and I sure could use it now!

O

Huh. I've never correlated my dreams with times of the week. I do have incredibly powerful dreams when I'm on or near water. (I grew up on Lake Michigan's shoreline, and I still sleep best with the sound of waves hitting the shore. When I was a teenager, we took long sailing vacations each year. The dreams then were just amazing.)

Lately, my dreams are a jumbled mix of images and storylinee. A common theme is home building. Last night was all about a mammoth home that I (or possibly not me but someone else in my name) had built. It was a mix of mansion and modern office buildings, with huge grounds and horsemen and an obstacle course for the soldiers. Guests stayed in rooms that were actually small apartments. Nothing had quite been finished yet, and there were still packages and boxes in many of the rooms.

And there was a tavern where the soldiers would go to drink sometimes, and DD and I would go there at the end of the day to spend a little while before going to look at gowns and other fancy clothing to purchase. We would walk in the streets of the town and listen to the speeches the generals would give, and watch the reactions of the soldiers as they waited for their assignments.

It was an oddly comforting dream, about life in that particular community, and being both a part of it and somehow in charge of it. For all that there were soldiers everywhere, there didn't seem to be an imminent threat. Just a lot of activity and preparation, a lot of building and integrating disparate parts of a community.

Anyway, that's all a bit of a threadjack, for which I apologize. I'm still so amazed by your dream, though! It's totally cool.

Hi October,

My prayers for your H to have that deam - on a recurring basis - a la Groundhog Day!! After all those repeats, he will undoubtedly be deeply in love with you for life!

J,

You think you're amazed by me dream? I am still reeling from the depths of the passion I felt...the "high" of the OM vs. the comforting, warm, devoted, unending love I felt for and from my H. As you said, I am going to hold on tight to this feeling and will revisit my post here to keep it fresh.

Your dream is interersting. I see protection of you and DD (soldiers) yet you regaining/retaining control. You building a new "community" (life) of disparate parts (life with you and DD without WP?)

Sometimes dreams can be nonsense, sometimes they are just a way to sort through the chaos we can't deal with during conscious hours and...sometimes they are a vehicle through which we are merely the receptor of important messages from the greatest power. JMVHO.

*S*

Hey Sparkle!
I've had some weird dreams lately. WH and I are reuniting in strange ways. Sometimes We're young, or in strange places, way to weird to figure out. All I know is that the feelings are STRONG!
How are things going for you these days. Hope you have a strategy for the holidays. I do, one day at a time and hope for the best! Oh yeah and lots of holiday cheer! You know the kind!
Take care!

Shugah!

Hi! I missed you. Just sent you an important email.

*S*

I didn't have a dream. I had the real thing - the affair - when I was married to my first husband. Having the real experience doesn't help me understand why my current husband of 23+ years had three affairs while married to me. He doesn't want to discuss them and I am having a hard time understanding why he had an affair -- and another one -- and another one.

I'm glad your dream is helping you. I wish something would happen to help me understand. I need a break from this incredible sadness.

^bump^


*S*

Heh. So my most recent dream was even weirder.

I dreamed that I had begun corresponding with a man through a dating service. He wanted to show me the semi-dirty pics he'd taken of his wife, so I looked at them and complimented him on the artistry of them. (A picture of his wife in a wheelbarrow, wearing sexy undies. Err, great, thanks for sharing...) Then I left. On my bicycle, oddly enough. And I was also coming from/going to work. I discovered that my hair was long enough to put into a french braid again and thought that was cool, because I like my hair like that.

As I was riding along, I passed OM's house. It was late and I was annoyed to see his house, so I stopped and took a shower there. I knew he was out of town at an event that he always goes to. He came home while I was in the shower and puttered around in the kitchen for a while. I figured he probably knew I was there, but I just got dressed and left anyway, feeling scared and unhappy about it. When I left, there was a moving van outside his place and I wondered if he was moving away. I got on my bike and kept going, and at that point woke up in a cold sweat and feeling absolutely yucky. Bleah, dreams about OM. Bleah.

Toofargone, I'm really sorry to hear of your sadness. I understand it all too well. I'm surprised to read that your previous experience doesn't help you have a better understanding of the dynamics of the affair and how your husband feels, even while you're very upset about it. I'll watch for your threads.

I wish my A was just a dream. It would have been easier to get over!

Felina

I only can wish my WH is hurting as much as you describe...is that selfish of me? I am in such pain that I can only hope that he is too on some level....I have a long way to go.....