Well,
All had been quite for awhile.
OM came up to my work place today and would not leave until I came outside with him.
I told him that if he came to my work again that I would call the Law.
I don't think he understands the seriousness of my NC letter.
I refuse to get into a conversation with him at all.
Trying to stay strong. This is the time when I could really use some moral support.

Get a restraining order.

This man is harrasing you and he has a history of violence.

Don't threaten to call the cops ... just call them.

Safety first.

Lucidity

You know what you have to do to restore your life. Please don’t let OM wreck everything.

Follow Pepperband’s advice and put a restraining order in place. Without this you have no control over OM.

I pray that you will not waiver.

Beau

I told him do not come up to my work again.
If he does show up I will call the police.
I was wondering if I could have them follow me to his house to tell him in person with them their with me.
Does it work that way.

I was wondering if I could have them follow me to his house to tell him in person with them their with me.
Does it work that way.

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

You 100% stay away from him.

YOU go to the police in person, ask to speak to anyone with expertise regarding domestic violence and you need a pronto restraining order.

Let the POLICE inform him.

Lucidity

the goal in no contact with anyone who is dangerous to you..
none...

you should not go to his house...there is no way that plays out very well

1. you step one foot on his property...he has you arrested for trespassing...
even with the cops there...

2. Don't play games with your employment and or work peers...
go to your boss and supervisor explain your situation and be upfront with them about his actions..

if your employment has an employee assistance program...use them now...they have resources that will assist you in this...

If someone comes to your place of work with non-related business call the police...any thing else is engaging him..
prolonging the real no contact that you deserve from someone who is physically aggressive...

and endangers you, your children, and your co-workers...

Do you carry a cell phone with you at ALL times to have access to 911 services...ALL times...even in the shower

Have you contacted the local womans shelter in your area for support and plans to remove yourself from this web of chaos...
use them
they have been where you are...
if you are serious about this you will get all the resources you can on your side...

ARK

Maybe I am confused.
Or maybe the law works differently.
I have tried to get a RO before and I have to have marks on my body.
I will go after work and talk to an officer.

I am serious about this.
I have contacted my day care provider already.
She knows what is going on.
I have already called my friends and family.
I am not backing down anymore.
This is enough.

Stay strong Luci, this man is very dangerous to you and your family.

Wishing you well and thinking of you. Please let us know that you are OK and what happens.

Lisa

If an officer won't give you the straight and narrow on how to get a restraining order, then call another one. If that doesn't work, then call a women's shelter or abuse line and ask them what protocol they recommend. If that doesn't work, call the courthouse. If that doesn't work, call your local politicians.

The point I"m making is, keep on calling until you get some action. This is YOUR life, and the life of YOUR children you're talking about here. Do what you need to do to protect yourself, legally. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />

Karen

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Originally posted by lucidity:
<strong> I told him do not come up to my work again.
If he does show up I will call the police.
I was wondering if I could have them follow me to his house to tell him in person with them their with me.
Does it work that way. </strong></font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Haven't you ALREADY told him this? Why keep doing the same thing and expecting a different result? Get a RO and if he shows up, call the cops. Don't talk to him, that will just encourage him.

I am curious about something, though. Isn't this the father of your child? Doesn't your child need to see her father? What arrangements have been made for visitation and how do you do that without seeing him?

I went to the police station.
The officer said unfortunatly we cannot do anything.
I have to wait for him to show up at my work, home, babysitters or call my cell phone, or work phone.
Then I can do something.
He called the sitter last night and told her that he would be picking OC up after work and he would be dropping him off on Monday.
He would have him for the weekend.
He was told the opposite.
He likes to involve OC when he gets like this and it just takes an emotional toll on all of us.
I wrote a letter for the sitter stating that the only persons allowed to pick OC up were myself and Grandma.
She will call the police if there is any trouble.
All is quite and everyone is supporting me here.
So it is a little easier. I am terrified because I will not be able to afford Day Care now and I have no idea what that is going to do to my job.
OM has helped on the condition that I put up with his emotional state and abuse.
This is the very Scary part.
I don't really have anyone who can financially help me and OM knows it.
I have to believe that with prayer and a little Faith, GOD will take care of me and the kids.

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Originally posted by lucidity:
<strong>
This is the very Scary part.
I don't really have anyone who can financially help me and OM knows it.
I have to believe that with prayer and a little Faith, GOD will take care of me and the kids. </strong></font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Lucidity, I hope you succeed in keeping him away. Were you financially dependent on the OM? Haven't you been supporting yourself all this time?

I have found its always best for a woman to be completely self sufficient financially [or have the ability to be so] so that she is not beholden to anyone. Why not learn to rely upon yourself for financial support? If you are single you have to support yourself, you don't have a choice. Women really can be equal if they choose to be so.

<small>[ December 12, 2003, 08:48 AM: Message edited by: MelodyLane ]</small>

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Originally posted by lucidity:
<strong> Well,
All had been quite for awhile.
OM came up to my work place today and would not leave until I came outside with him.
I told him that if he came to my work again that I would call the Law.
I don't think he understands the seriousness of my NC letter.
I refuse to get into a conversation with him at all.
Trying to stay strong. This is the time when I could really use some moral support. </strong></font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Did he touch you in any way at all? Grab a wrist, a shoulder? Did anyone see you two outside? Any unwanted touching is technically considered battery, and any verbal battery is considered assault. About 10 years ago, I had an ex-boyfriend come to my home, call me outside, grab my wrist, and tell me he had a gun and was going to shoot me. I never saw the gun, and went back inside. Instead of calling the police, I went to the district attorney in my city. We got a court date, and while it took 3 months (from the time I went to the DA to the court date), I was able to get a restraining order, pretty much on the grounds of him threatening me, grabbing my wrist, and the witness's testimony. If the police won't help, it might be worth it to consult an attorney and see what they have to say. The laws might be different here than they are there, but at least its another avenue to try.

Good luck