D-Day was 9/17/03. Since then my FWH has disclosed three A since 1992. I have been on an emotional rollercoaster, as have all BS.

Last week I had blood work done at my doctor's office. They called this week to tell me that my hormone levels were in the "menopausal range." As if there wasn't enough going on in my life, now this. I had actually been looking forward to menopause, for obvious reasons, but after D-Day this news has made me feel worse.

I told my H about the lab results but he hasn't mentioned it since. I have been crying more and feeling sad and I don't feel he is there to help me get through this anymore than he has been helping me recover from D-Day.

Has anyone else gone through this? Was it post D-Day? Can you offer any positive words? I am worried about things I didn't think about before D-Day, i.e., loss of sexual desire, painfull SF, facial hair, etc.. I guess I am afraid I won't be able to meet my H's EN for SF and he will find OW#4. Not that he didn't seek SF with OW before this, but it is different now that I know about them.

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">
Has anyone else gone through this? </font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Yes, I have gone through menopause.
</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">
Was it post D-Day? </font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">I am not a BW, so there has been no D-Day.
</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">
Can you offer any positive words? I am worried about things I didn't think about before D-Day, i.e., loss of sexual desire, painful SF, facial hair, etc.. </font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">YES, I can offer positive words. At least I hope you think they are positive!

Please remember, this is MY PERSONAL experience with menopause. I am sure there are other women on board with menopausal horror stories, but so far, I have none.
--loss of sexual desire--
Nope, no loss of desire.
But I believe the brain is the #1 sex organ in the body, whether male or female.
So sure, I feel loss of desire when my H is not meeting my EN's like I think he should.
--painful SF--
Nope, no painful SF. Sometimes lubrication is a problem, but NOT if there has been enough foreplay. But then, for me personally, there has never, ever been any physical pain involved with SF.
--facial hair--
Only a couple of wild hairs on my chin. Noticable to only me. And they pluck out quite easily.
--etc--
I did experience hot flashes. But they were not at all what I expected. FOR ME, they would come randomly, I would suddenly become very warm, and my body with have a thin sheen of perspiration.
But they did not last long, probably only a minute or so.
They seem to come only in the evenings.
And this is my fourth year with NO PERIODS (which in my opinion is WONERFUL...no more cramps, no more pre-period bad moods, etc), so a hot flash from time to time is fine with me.

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial"> I guess I am afraid I won't be able to meet my H's EN for SF [/QB]</font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Honestly, I see no reason why you won't be able to meet your H's needs pre or post menopausal!

Unless you encounter sever problems (physical) during menopause. please try not to worry about it. You have enough to worry about with rebuilding your marriage.

Hope this has helped a little.
And good luck!

Yup, I'm going through menopause. The women in my family seem to take a long time to get through the whole process. I'm in my third year now. But it's not that terrible. I get the hot flashes, they come and go. Sometimes I'll get them everyday for weeks and then they disappear for awhile. I usually have them at night, sure saves on the heating bills, lol. I have mood swings but again, they come and go. There's the occasional "wild hair" I find and think "Holy crap, where did that come from??" but as Sweeter2 said, just pluck the sucker out.
In regard to the Dday issue, my husband had a couple of EAs and I think my temper was a little more volatile as a result of the menopause process but I would have been supremely p*%%ed off about them under any cirmcumstances. Menopause is a fact of life and to be quite honest, I'm looking forward to not having the painful, debilitating cramps, nausea, etc. that I frequently suffer a few times a year. I'm still going through it but have not had any problems with lubrication, etc. But if I did, there's a lot of products out there that can help with that! Try not to stress too much about it, it's a natural progression and a new stage in life, many women feel a sense of freedom once it's all over and done with. And think of the money you"ll save on sanitary products!! Hang in there.

<small>[ December 12, 2003, 07:51 PM: Message edited by: Medusa ]</small>

As usual, I'm an oddball. (Normal? Me? Never...) Even though I'm only 36, I went through "menopause" more than 20 years ago. It's actually a poorly understood condition called Premature Ovarian Failure, but the reesults are the same -- no ovulations, menopausal hormonal levels, and all the associated symptoms.

So, for the "best" years of my life, I've been in menopause. I occasionally joke that I'm just waiting for the wrinkles on my face to catch up with my bones and ovaries, which are about 55 years old.

In any case, in spite of the age and circumstances, I had a pretty normal sex life throughout my 20s and 30s, at least in terms of the physical mechanics of the whole thing. (We won't go into my social boundaries here!) I did have hot flashes, though I didn't realize that was what they were untli years later, and I experienced a very strong sex drive. My sex drive drops considerably when I'm on the hormones they give folks like me.

So... I guess I'd have to say that yeah, lubrication can sometimes be an issue, but that's true for any woman. Have fun and stop worrying about this! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />