i would like to know what the men did here to get their w to get their senses. my wife is having a affair with a coworker. we dont live together it is so hard to do my plan A beacuse she will not talk to me after i caught her with the om. she still says that she was not cheating but thats a lie. how can i get her to break off ties with om she works with . we dont live with each other i know she is still seeing the om. also what did you guys do to cope with this. iam home alone and miss my family. any help thanks. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Confused]" src="images/icons/confused.gif" />

i call my ws toask if i can see the kids she said no at first and then she said yes. i went to see my kids and ws is so mad but i been nice and told her thank u for lettin me see the kids. why are ws so mad. the bs didnt cheat see acting like i cheated

why are ws so mad. iam the bs i didnt cheat. i ask ws to come by and see the kids she says no and then yes.then i go and seen the kids being very nice to her she is still mad. and i tell her thank u for letting me see the kids. why are they so mad the ws. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Confused]" src="images/icons/confused.gif" />

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Originally posted by eemd:

<strong>"why are ws so mad." <img border="0" title="" alt="[Confused]" src="images/icons/confused.gif" /> </strong></font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Because by trying to demonize the BS it helps to convince the WS that the affair was justified.

That is typical. I have been asking that question for months now. The are SO cruel and mean. They won't talk and when you try to talk they won't listen. I guess its like TOO MUCH said, they are trying to justify the affair. My wife doesn't even bother to spend time with her children during these holidays. How sad is that?

well xmas went find the wife kids spent time with me wife did not want to talk about anything about the other om she still lies about it she tells me that i sould worry about her life she donesnt live with me. yestoday i call wife to talk about the kids and she thought i was the other man on the phone. then when i ask her what she was talking about she said dont ask her anything. that was hard and hurt me bad. seems like the om has her brainwashed. she works with everyday how can i get her to notice me. she picks him up for and takes him home. anyhelp <img border="0" title="" alt="[Confused]" src="images/icons/confused.gif" />

my wife works with the om. that makes it harder for me to get her to talk to me and cut off ties with him. what could i do.

anyone

read all you can on here, take a deep breath, and plan B her. Just don't talk to her anymore. As hard as that is (believe me I know) don't engage with her anymore. Get yourself together and let her see how much of a loser the guy is (does she really pick HIM up for work? what a loser!)

You should read "Survivng An Affair" before you "do" anything.

yes she does pick him up. i read ssa. but how do i get him out of the picture. i dont live with her so she has more time to be with him. i am on plan a now for 3 weeks. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Confused]" src="images/icons/confused.gif" />

i read ssa.
SAA. Good!

but how do i get him out of the picture.
Did you pay attention to the part where it says you CANNOT get him out of the picture?

eemd..
Your rights to see your children are not contingent on her moods...

focus on the kids...set clear boundaries...

Is she exposing them to the OM...cause that would light a fire under my butt to put a stop to that one...

You need to have clear boundaries that protect you and the children...full exposure with the children...

Do not let her use the children as pawns...
can you move back home...?
you should consider doing so...
seriously consider doing so...


Is he married...have you exposed the affair to anyone?

document any times she 'stops' you from seeing them...they need you badly...
record phone messages where she won't let you see them...
establish clear visitation...but seriously consider moving back......if at all possible...

children pay the most heinous price for grownups behavior.... <img border="0" alt="[Teary]" title="" src="graemlins/teary.gif" />

ARK