OK as some of you know my WW left on dday about 9 months ago and asked me for more space through N/C for the past 6 months.

Now we have had very little contact with the last comming 3 weeks ago when she called to defend OM and ask why I was making his life difficult. The conversation was very short and I was calm and respectfull. My WW sounded a little embarrised to even make the call.


So after that I expected she would dispear from the radar again. Well 2 weeks ago she called my mother, now I still don't know the reason for that call after all if your life is great with OM and your moving forward why reach out to your MIL?

So here we are - I sent my WW a short thank-you email for calling my mother and was empathetic towards my WW regarding how hard that must have been. I also let her know she had some mail to be picked up and I would leave it outside as before.

So today I get a nice email from my WW apologizing for not returning my email sooner as she was out on friday. WW also asks about a few things in my life and tells me she's busy the next few night but would likely pick up mail on Friday night.

SO - My email needed no response yet I got one and an explination why it was not super fast. I am also told the exact day she will likely be by and why.

So what's up with her recent actions????

And more important how do I play out my WW likely hood that she will knock on the door and may want to say hi?

gg:

Well, the 2uestion I might have for you is, how do you think you'll do?

What if she comes over 2 chew you out for something? Even if that wasn't why she's coming over, but it just happens?

What if she is nice, but gone so fast that you're left wondering, huh? is that all?

What if she stands you up? Advertently or inadvertently?

What if she wants 2 come home? (doesn't sound likely, but you might need 2 be prepared).

I think the important thing is for you 2 be able 2 handle ANYTHING that might happen without being adversely affected by whatever it might be. Can you do that? If you can, then I'd take advantage of the oppor2nity 2 plant a few LUs in her piggy bank.

as for making the OM's life difficult? hehehehe... but he did that himself, all without your help!

-ol' 2long

I'd suggest you tell her you just realized you're out on the night she specified, but that if she likes, you can leave the mail in a bag hanging from the doorknob.

Be very cheerful about this, as if to suggest that you're trying to make it as easy as possible for her to pick up her mail.

That will force her to admit if she's actually coming over to talk, or if she really just wants her mail. If she wants to talk, she'll select another day.

Of course, you won't know what she wants to talk about, but at least you'll know if "picking up the mail" is just a pretext or not.

2long

I think I will do great.

If she come over to chew me out that would be and interesting situation. A) she choose the affair B) she choose to leave C) she choose not to talk about us D) she asked for limited contact.

In reality she should be happy as pie. She has her new man. She has no reason to be upset with me.

If she doesn't show on her specific night that's fine. The mail will be right were I put it last week. She can get it earlier, later, knock on the door or not.

I don't think she's comming home. In fact she doesn't get to come home until OM is gone and she starts talking about "us" and what she's learned about this how mess.

I will be calm, cool, filling the love bank, no relationship talk and reverse babble if needed.


RESDOG1,

If I'm home she will knock on the door as she has before. It's just hard to tell if she's being polite, testing the waters etc. Only time will tell I guess.

And more important how do I play out my WW likely hood that she will knock on the door and may want to say hi?

Here's my short answer. Be pleasant. Listen more than you speak. Keep "soft" eye contact. Look directly at her. Be receptive.

Let us know.

Pep