Hi, i am 19 and my partner is 20. We are due to be married in july, and are very happy together and have a great relationship. Recently though, a situation has arisen which is causing me a great deal of worry and stress. My partner works in a bar, and about 6 months ago a younger female employee took a fancy to him. My parner is quite innocent and never realises when someone fancies him. She would sit at the bar and they would talk generally, as we both do with many members of staff as it is a friendly place. He considered her a friend, although their contact did not go beyond conversations at work and the odd text message. She had a boyfriend at the time and couldnt get enough of him. Then, out of the blue, she appeared to turn on us and began telling everyone round our place of work that her and my partner were having an affair. She began pursuing him, although she was still with her boyfriend. I had confirmation from both her best friend and my partner that it was all rubbish, and it seemed to calm down. She started going out with a good friend of ours, which upset us both as he did not seem to care about the grief she had caused us. Then recently, i recieved an email from a girl (who i dont know, but is obviously a friend of the girl in question) who proceeded to tell me in great detail about everything he had done behind my back. Her story didnt quite fit with the facts, but nevertheless it worried me a great deal due to the complexity of it. She cant explain how she knows its true, and she cant tell me who else is supposed to know so i cant check it out. I have questioned my partner and he denies everything and is upset and confused by the accusations. I have known him for 10 years, and know him very well, and so trust him a lot. I dont believe he would be able to do something like that to me, let alone lie to me for this length of time. We live together and work together, at the time this was supposed to be happening i was away during the week, but he lived with his gran and brother, who he was with most of the time in a tiny house. I havnt heard any other evidence of this apart from what has come from her.

Can any of you help me make sense of this? Is this just a jealous young girl filled with hatred, or could there be some truth in this?

Thank you.

<small>[ December 16, 2003, 08:45 AM: Message edited by: ks2001 ]</small>

Who can say? It could be a bit of truth both ways.

I think 19 is pretty young to get married. Why not wait on the marriage ..... set a different goal for now.

How about college?

Pep

It sounds like you have some pretty tough issues to iron out ASAP before you walk down the isle.

You don't want to have any doubts about it when you do get married let alone something like this hovering over your heads.

If you don't trust your Fiance' now, what's to say you'll trust him just because you're married?

Thanks for your opinions guys.
i am actually halfway through a degree in a subject i love.
I have since sat down with him and gone through everything from start to finish, and i am now confident that he has remained faithful to me.

I believe there is such a thing as men who dont cheat, what does everyone else think?

Hello KS2001,

I believe that there is such a thing as women who don't cheat. What do you think?