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Joined: Dec 2003
Posts: 41
Member
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Member
Joined: Dec 2003
Posts: 41 |
I posted under "just found out" but there are more of you here. I'll be brief. We have been separated for over a month due to yet another affair. This one is internet involved with porn, web cam sex as well as phone calls. He says he quit when he got caught but was furious when I cut his access to the computer, just e-mail you know oh, and he didn't do it that much. He won't give up the computer for our marriage and says I'm controlling. I did return his accounts to him after threats. I did forgive him the last time he had an affair and did learn to trust and love him again. This time it feels different. Try something else or hire a lawyer? I am in counseling and have support from my church and family. I re-read my own post and I'm thinking what is wrong with that girl??? Advise?
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Joined: Jul 2003
Posts: 475
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Member
Joined: Jul 2003
Posts: 475 |
Well it definitely sounds like he's addicted and probably in denial. You have to treat it like you would as if someone were addicted to something else.
I can't give you advice on what to do exactly, but I can tell you that if it's not resolved soon the issues/problems will only continue to mount.
Extraordinary circumstances call for extraordinary measures.
Is there any reason he needs internet access other then for email?
Does he know the implications of what he's doing and what it can lead to? Such as Divorce?
</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">He won't give up the computer for our marriage </font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">It's not that he won't give up "the computer" for your M. He's addicted and he needs to get help some how.
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Joined: Dec 2003
Posts: 41
Member
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Member
Joined: Dec 2003
Posts: 41 |
You are right about the addiction and that he is in denial. He doesn't really even need it for e-mail since some of what he still receives is porn from his buddies. I told him to use the phone. He does have to use some computer systems for his work but also used those computers to e-mail other women. I did tell him I thought he needed help and that this is a problem and his response was less that appropriate. He has suggested that we start dating each other but I refused. Our church has a great accountability system set up for such issues but he refuses to return any calls. I was advised that I should be present for the first meeting to make sure he is being honest and he laughed at the suggestion. He has also stated that he would appreciate me not sharing any of our problems with anyone. I have been very selective but have had to get help for myself. Thanks for your input.
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