bbb

<small>[ February 08, 2004, 02:43 AM: Message edited by: Lovely ]</small>

DG:

I honestly don't know what to tell you. You want to do to your H what he's done/doing to you? You want out of the M, and yet you haven't done what you should do to even find out if that's the right way to go??

If you can be honest with yourself and your H, be authentic with each other, THEN you might be able to find out if your problems are insurmountable or not.

You haven't done what you need to do FIRST. So, your questions are misplaced.

-Qfwfq (aka 2long)

2LONG - WHY DID YOU CHANGE YOUR NAME?

i

<small>[ February 08, 2004, 12:52 AM: Message edited by: Lovely ]</small>

Then find a lawyer to talk to. That's the only person who can really answer those questions for you, as mine did for me.

Around here, an hour long "initial consultation" can run from $100-$250, depending on the lawyer. The one I went to see, which came REALLY highly recommended, was at the top of that scale, but she was worth every penny. Heck, a few things she said gave me more strength to keep working on my M than anything my counselor had said! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Cool]" src="images/icons/cool.gif" />

Good luck to you. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />

DG:

"2LONG - WHY DID YOU CHANGE YOUR NAME?"

I didn't. Well, I did, about a year ago. I had intended 2 invite my FWW 2 view my posts, and wanted 2 start with a new username and keep my old posts, which might have had some "W-bashing" remarks in them, so I made up a new name (which is my username on www.iloveulove.com as well). But my W has not taken an interest in my posts much at all, except for a couple of threads I copied and forwarded 2 her several months ago. So, about June this year, I 'revived' 2long. He's my favorite persona anyway, though I am fond of Qfwfq as well (a character from short stories by Italo Calvino).

"i KNOW WHAT YOU MEAN BUT IT'S JUST NOT SAFE IMO TO TELL HIM WHAT YOU ARE REFERRING TO UNTIL HE IS LONG GONE."

Why? Is he prone 2 violence? If so, I would agree, but you could get help 2 tell him in a counseling session, for example.

"I AM ON EMPTY FOR HIM AND I JUST CAN'T GO ON ANYMORE WITH HIM. I'M ALMOST GLAD HE HAD HIS AFFAIR B/C THIS YEAR PLUS LONG STRUGGLE HAS GIVEN ME THE STRENGTH TO ACTUALLY WANT OUT AND MEAN IT. I JUST DON'T HAVE ANYTHING LEFT TO GIVE HIM OR OUR M. *SIGH*""

And I will ask you the "form question": Is there even the slightest chance that your atti2de has ANYTHING 2 do with the fact that you've had an A with his so-called "best friend" who's MO is was always 2 steal his previous GFs away from him?

Think about it. Whatever you do, don't take this baggage with you in2 another relationship.

-ol' 2long