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Joined: Dec 2003
Posts: 41
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I have posted the long version under Just found out, Husband and his affairs.
I exposed his affairs to family and friends but have been very selective with who gets what details. Most people know why we are seperated.

My question is, he keeps bringing up the who knows what questions and saying I have damaged his relationships with people and he doesn't even know who, so what do I say?

I have told him I am happy to discuss this in a counselors office and that if he is unsure of where he stands with someone it is his responsibility to talk with them.

I did tell his family and they have wonderfully supportive. I am upset that I was put in the position of having to tell others because I felt it was his responsibility to at least tell his family and take care of his church obligations. Ok, maybe I was dreaming when I thought that.
What am I missing?

Joined: Apr 2001
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</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Originally posted by confusedmom4:
<strong>

My question is, he keeps bringing up the who knows what questions and saying I have damaged his relationships with people and he doesn't even know who, so what do I say?

</strong></font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">You have been asolutely correct in telling his family. They have a right to know what is going on and you have no obligation to help his hide his behavior.

Please point out to him that it is HIS behavior that has damaged his relationships, not the exposure of his behavior. Nor would you be helping him by assisting him in concealing his behavior.

If he asks who you have told, I would be perfectly honest about it. There is nothing wrong with telling people. What is wrong is DOING WHAT HE DID. Don't let him intimidate you for doing the right thing and don't let him bully you into helping him hide.


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