Posted this in the In Recovery Forum, but thought it might get better play here:
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This morning I felt particularly reflective. I'm searching for ways to improve dialogue between FWH and myself. I came up with an idea that seems (to me) to be a good one, yet I'm anxious about it since H really resists anything that resembles an excercise, survey, or suggestion from a book (which this is not.) Anyway, I sent him the followng in an email:

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My Love,
Do you know how difficult it was for me to find you a Christmas gift that would express how much you mean to me? As much as you loved getting the Harley certificate, it seemed woefully impersonal. I just hope it will improve our enjoyment of "together time" on the bike.

With the coming of a new year, we look forward to fresh beginnings. I hope you will agree to start a new tradition with me, one that will represent a very real and personal gift to one another. My idea is for each of us to write a loving letter to each other saying what the other person could do or change to deepen our love.

This year might bring out some of the challenging issues we both have yet to face, but I anticipate the years to come when our love letters reflect the smallest fine-tuning indicative of near-perfection.

I love you dearly, and hope you will consider my suggestion with the respect and caring with which it is offered.

Your Wife Forever.
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I would love input form any FWSs out there--especially the "just-get-over-it" types-- as to whether you find this suggestion threatening.

BSs with experience with the type might give me some encouragement on how to deal with rejection or resistance.

Thanks to all for your thoughts/ideas. --DT