Assuming as a culture we deplore affairs, what can we do to persuade folks not to have them?<P>PRE_MARITAL<BR>1. Require a 1 yr waiting period after applying for marriage license, during which time you must take a course in MB, and read at least 2000 posts on this site.<P>2. Take every psychological/temperament test available, and be counselled re results.<P>3. Be investigated thoroughly re past history.<P>AFTER MARRIED<BR>4. Either party can require a polygraph exam at any time if they feel the need to question a spouse.<P>5. Affairs become a legal issue. Have one and if you divorce, spouse automatically gets 75% of your share of the marital assets. (affairs only require circumstantial evidence, and polygraph is admittable, basically phone records, improper fraterniazation...time spent with op, etc.).<P>6. If divorced due to an affair, cannot obtain marriage license for 5 years.<P>7. Timely voluntary admission of A, in complete detail, is a mitigating factor at judges discretion in the allocation of assets, or waiving some of 5 years.<P>8. Transmission of std's incurs a serious financial cost after divorce (kind of like alimony).<P>9. In addition to the divorce costs, an adulterer is subject to civil actions from other bs if applicable.<P>10. No one with affair on their divorce decree can remarry if child support/alimony etc. is not current.<P>For those living under a dictator who hates affairs.<P>11. Make an affair a capital crime, penalty is life in prison, and your children (and you) are sterilized. So you not only lose your freedom, you also lose your grandchildren etc. Kind of hard on your kids though, but such is the consequences of having a stupid parent, or choosing a stupid partner. Hopefully the other partner is still fertile, or stockpiled some dna earlier in life. By this means the gene pool is cleansed of affair type leanings.

Are we in a funny, sarcastic mood today? <P>Not sure this would help...especially since LA Times reported that 'co-habitation' was up 72%....<P>What if we just didn't have marriage at all? No big weddings with all the expense...No divorce lawyers getting all the big bucks...<P>We'll just make federal and state laws to regulate the share of pension/retirement, any necessary co-habitator's support, and child support and visition...you know standard cookie-cutter...one-size fits all laws....<P>We could save society a lot of money...<P>Cali

And the last law, #12 for an even dozen:<P>12. All D people that have cheated require a tat (tatoo) on their forehead stating so.<P>This way, even if you're physically attracted to someone, you'll be alerted early on they are not a viable marriage candidate.<P>

<BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Resilient:<BR><B>And the last law, #12 for an even dozen:<P>12. All D people that have cheated require a tat (tatoo) on their forehead stating so.<P>This way, even if you're physically attracted to someone, you'll be alerted early on they are not a viable marriage candidate.<P></B><HR></BLOCKQUOTE><P>haha, we laugh about that, but that's how the Puritans did it! Remember the Scarlet Letter??

Godlyman ... and yer point is .... ?

That was excellent I make that a Motion, do I hear a second!<BR>I know you ws dont want to hear this but, and I might even sound like a self centered in the fog one. Is the ws a unstable personality prior to marriage. Is the bs or can a bs have a marriage with another bs and it could be a good marriage. people have serious problems in there marriages all the time and they survive. Is that because there was a affair and nobody knew or are they 2 stable personalitys. I know you ws's are saying that the bs is a stable person prior to and during marriage and your not. Well thats my point. Ok you can beat me up now. Maybe this should be its own post. ok 15 months and still hanging on.

I love these ideas, the world would be a much better place!

I like #12 too, had thought about that before also. I really think a person's entire sexual/relationship history should be recorded somewhere and accessible to anyone they date, or if they refuse to release, then their romantic interest can decide wether radical honesty is a need they are willing to forgo

<B>12. All D people that have cheated require a tat (tatoo) on their forehead stating so.<P>This way, even if you're physically attracted to someone, you'll be alerted early on they are not a viable marriage candidate.</B><BR>Also, you could tell that they might be “easy?” <P>Seriously though, if these would work, how come people still commit murders?<P>We do have the death penalty (in some states) or life in prison.<P>Also, you would have to get busted in some way. Most people involved in an affair do not think they will get caught.<P>------------------<BR>Prayers & God Bless!<BR>Chris<BR>For relationship info check out <A HREF="http://www.pcisys.net/~chriscal1/resources.html" TARGET=_blank>Marriage & Relationship Resources</A>

Having a dozen laws to reduce affairs is a wonderful idea, I would vote for whoever decided to sponsor such a bill....<P>So I guess my advice is to vote out of office ANYONE who we know has had an affair.... Might make passing such a bill VERY difficult! No wonder they have taken the 'fault' out of divorce - look at the politicians!<P>

In the past I have thought about this type of thing in great detail. I don’t think you could ever legislate anything that would stop affairs. Although I do like the STD transmission retribution.<P>In my mind I came to the following conclusions on why people get "married" in the first place.<P>1. Our society says so & our parents did.<BR>2. It offers a sense of security for young folks to bring children into the world.<BR>3. Financial institutions look for it when lending.<BR>4. Your religious beliefs. <P>I also believe that the concept of divorce, alimony and asset division being a long and drawn out painful process that very few just jump into at first is a big reason that a spouse may start to take another for granted or "show their a$$".<P>I personally think the thing to do is require a pre-nuptial agreement with every marriage license application. That specifies things like;<P>1. All substantial assets purchased will have a division of ownership document filed based upon each spouse's contribution to the down payment and installments. Meaning if the happy couple buys a house that has a 10K down and $1000 p/month mortgage, the document will show that spouse A paid the 10K out of their retirement fund and 700 p/month on the mortgage. These documents should stipulate not only division but how and time frames as well. Upon the decision to split either spouse could buy the other one out or the asset will be vacated, sold, whatever within a certain time limit. This should be a fair document that defines that you get out what you put in and should also consider things such as child rearing for single income families.<BR>2. I would also include a negotiated penalty covering Unknown Adultery. Meaning It's one thing if a spouse says I'm unhappy and want to start seeing other people up front vs. the standard lying routine.<BR>3. STDs - from an unknown affair would have the same consequences as any other civil legal matter. Think about if you were driving drunk and hit another car causing a passenger in the another car to have suffered injury. What would happen? Just a broken bone that can be treated (gonorrhea), or did the injured party have a permanent, life altering injury (herpes, warts), or did you kill that person (aids). How would a court treat you? Your argument of "I didn’t know I was going to catch an STD from unprotected sex" would be as weak as saying "I didn’t know I was going to hit another car when I got behind the wheel drunk" <BR>4. I think the pre-nuptial counseling to define the items and potential solutions would be a must as well.<P>The reason I feel this would help is multifaceted. <BR>1. Much easier to negotiate a fair divorce when you're still starry eyed in love.<BR>2. Divorce courts could then focus on the true victims, the children.<BR>3. I think you would be far less likely to take your partner for granted if or "show you’re a$$" if you knew how easily you could be alone. I know this sounds bad but look at it from the light of how much emphasis you would put on trying to meet your spouses needs to keep them happy, just like when you are dating.<BR>4. If you could go through the trials and stress of negotiating this and still remain starry eyed in love, then I would guess that you'd be able to make it through all the other hassles that like will throw at you.<BR>

Old Testament times people were stoned for adultery. <P>New Testament is go and sin no more. <P>So what about the ones that are continually going back to the same sin? I say: reap the consequence of their actions and file for divorce.