I am packing my stuff and moving this week. I caught them together, she had my clothes on!! I realize that if I let it go and ignore him, he calls me and then I feel hope again. Well guess what!!! The best thing to do if your spouse is cheating is to let go!! I found a note he wrote that said that he wanted her to be the other half of his soul forever. He said he didn't mean it, but he can only be rude when she's around. He tried to have her and my son go to the movies together and were still married, but when she's around-we're not. Well, his mom told him she's off limits around her. Thank God. He's mad at everyone because they tell him he's being stupid. I tried to get away for awhile last weekend and he calls me and tells me he's going to kill himself, why does he want me to feel guilty and trapped. He doesn't want the baby. He hopes that I miscarry. Well, I'm 12 weeks so that probably won't happen. I can't stand it here anymore and we're taking the papers in today. He said that he prayed that I wouldn't take them in, that he cares about me, but then she comes around and it's your not welcome here and she's my life now. What the hell is going on? Yet, he still blames and accuses me of my A.? Whatever. I don't know him anymore and I am tired of playing mind games. It's time to take a breather and start me a new life. His mom doesn't want to see me go and I don't think it's the right thing, but it's all I can do to keep my sanity.

Take a breather for a few days, if at all possible. You may have a different idea of what you need to do by then. If not, then do your move. You obviously cannot plan B while in the same house.<P>If you do move, please be careful. Have friends and family help you. If you want to keep your baby, then you want to take it easy physically as well. Emotionally, well, although it would be great, I'm not sure if any pregnant women dealing with her H's A can ease up there (been there, done that).<P>Take care,<BR>Karen<BR>

Karen,<P>We are not living in the same house. He's been gone a month, but he always tells me he cares and crap whenever she's not around. Yesterday, I went to get something for my son from him and she was with him. He says we're not married. I shook her hand and said she won. I then shook his hand and said goodbye. Sure enough as soon as she's gone, it's I do care and I came down and held you because you were sick. I want to help you. I told him it would be better help if he would make up his mind. See he doesn't see what he is doing as wrong, because I had an A. first. Thing is, now he's all-she's my soulmate and this is destiny. I don't know if moving is the right thing, but it seems like everyone else thinks so. I can't stand it. She's a 20yr. old college girl who's writing him letters like, We can be everything to each other and why would you want to hold on to something that makes you feel like s**t. Well, obviously he still loves me, stupid. I asked her how it felt to be with a married man. She told him she didn't want to persue a relationship with him, (probably because we were on the phone and he was being nice) and then twenty minutes later she's back and I guess she changed her mind. Well, he said he was still thinking about whether or not he could get over it, so if you have any advice on what to say, I'd appreciate it. He says, keep praying and maybe things will work out, I said how can things work out if you spend half the day talking to her and the other half talking to me? I don't know, all I do know is that when I left last weekend, he came up state to see me, and then came back to her??? Help!!

Dear Rainefall,<P>Oh my dear, in your delicate condition I feel for you. The pressure he is putting on you is very very wrong. You are right to give yourself the space for your santity. So you are going to a plan B for now? <P>Let me make his own way back. You have a lot to care for right now and let all those who are able to support you, help you as much as you can and need. OK? <P>I know a bit about the pregnancy thing. In my case, the OW claimed (or feigned - not sure) pregnancy also so it was a double whammy of sorts. Anyways, take care of yourself. The preg/child board have good support there also. <P>Your primary concentration should be you and the baby and your son. <P>Again my thoughts and prayers are with you. <P>L. <BR>

Well, I went to pick up my son and I wasn't really cold to him, I just wouldn't allow him to touch me or tell me he was worried. I just said, "Oh, well". I gave him a ride and he said"It's a bitter pill I have to swallow." I said"We all do, besides you have C. and shouldn't she be making it better for you? She's your soulmate right" He got all upset because I'm not crying 24/7 now. He's like "you don't need me anymore" I said,"why need what you can't have" I hope this means I'm getting stronger. I don't know if there is a possibility of things getting better, but for right now I'm going to act like there's not, instead of whimpering around. I don't know I hate this because I want to back down and say, "I love you and I want everything better" but what difference is that going to make? I always talk strong, but really I'm not that strong. I can do things because I sit there and think about doing them, but sometimes I just want to grab him and run.

Hi Rainefall,<P>I know the struggle you are going through. My H seems to flaunt his A in front of my face and I always feel like leaving him. I have tried leaving him on 2 occasions, but only for a week, at the most and he would beg me to come back. I always think that I should be strong to not come back, but I do. He tells me that he wants to keep the family and yet he wants to be with the OW (his "soulmate"). Right now, I am plan A-ing and waiting for the right moment to leave him. I do have my family backing me up and also just knowing that if H files for divorce, it will be biggest mistake of his life and I will have no regrets. Hope this helps and follow your heart.