My dear Wife - well, now it's more out in the open. Your sister, without my knowledge, sent you some postings from here that I wrote, but I'm glad she did. She was sincerely trying to undo this big mess.<P>I have never written anything on this forum that I knew was untrue. I understand you feel violated because I have been discussing our personal situation, but the intent has always been to repair our family. Yep, you'll read some things I've written that may make you mad, but everything has been from the heart and heartfelt and honest.<P>I hope you read this and I hope you read a lot more of my posts. I understand your views on internet "chat" groups, but this is not what you think. Ask your sister. I also understand your concern that I took <son> to meet "strangers" I met here. Please believe that I would never do anything to place him in peril. Nonetheless, I will respect your wishes to not do this again.<P>Again, I encourage you to read on this forum and this website. Take it or leave it. I cannot force you, I would never try to force you to do anything. But, you can even register and ask questions anonymously to form your own opinions. Your sister will help you and I don't have to know. Just think, you can even ask me a question. <P>Just know that I have shown nothing but love and hope for our family here - and everything here reflects my true feelings, warts and all. I've gotten tremendous support, understanding, and, yes, criticism here. All of it has been with good intentions of the participants, and I will be forever grateful to them. I put myself at their mercy and ask them now to reply to this post and give their honest opinions of my efforts, growth, and sincerity. I have learned tremendously. And I still have a lot more to learn. In the end, I hope you will see that I am all yours and I am......<P>Worthatry<P>To my SIL: I love you and your family tremendously, but you know this. I understand your intentions were pure. Thanks for caring.<P>WAT

I am a wayward wife who came home to my husband and my family.<P>Mrs. Worthatry...I hope you shall follow my lead and maybe find a comrade in me.<P>Your husband has given me hope during the deepest of my dispair when my husband could not deal with my adultry I asked the fellow men in his situation for help. They all hepled. As did the others. I have my most empathy for those in my husbands situation . They helped me see what he could not tell me at the time. I took all their advice and now am in a deep recovery.<P>Therefore I would like to help any wayward wife who is sincere in saving their life, husband and family and restoring that unit like I have done.<P>It is all possible. It takes work. Love returns. Happiness comes back. Our first choice in a mate..our husbands was RIGHT... we just need to find that RIGHT. Our vow can come back..just takes work.<P>Hope you will contact me.<P>Lisa<P>

Mrs. Worthatry,<P>My wayward husband also was mortified when he started reading my posts. He felt this was a fantasy world and I was not living in the real world.... Until he started reading more. He realized this is a place for true recovery and "marriage building". Now he's glad that I have place to go for support. A place to go when I'm feeling really down, where people will say it's worth it to try to forgive. Where I have to understand what in our marriage allowed this to happen....<BR>

<BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Beautiful:<BR><B>I am a wayward wife who came home to my husband and my family.<P>Mrs. Worthatry...I hope you shall follow my lead and maybe find a comrade in me.<P>Your husband has given me hope during the deepest of my dispair when my husband could not deal with my adultry I asked the fellow men in his situation for help. They all hepled. As did the others. I have my most empathy for those in my husbands situation . They helped me see what he could not tell me at the time. I took all their advice and now am in a deep recovery.<P>Therefore I would like to help any wayward wife who is sincere in saving their life, husband and family and restoring that unit like I have done.<P>It is all possible. It takes work. Love returns. Happiness comes back. Our first choice in a mate..our husbands was RIGHT... we just need to find that RIGHT. Our vow can come back..just takes work.<P>Hope you will contact me.<P>Lisa<P></B><HR></BLOCKQUOTE><P>Lisa, Your reply made me cry. I hope Dave's W comes here, & let others like you help her. I admire WS such as your self for coming here wanting to repair the damage your marriage, help others, & understand what your BS feels. It must be hard sometimes to come here as we the BS sometimes vent & we are not always kind but thanks for not letting our hurts run you away.<P>Mrs Wat,<P>I hope you come here, I hope you can read with an open mind. If you read here you might not like me but if there is anything I could do to help you recover your marriag, I would. <P>Believe me divorce is no fun, even when you try & be civil like my STBX & I are trying to do it hurts, it hurts your children, it hurts when I let my STBX come & go freely in my home, so he can spend more time with his sons, but it hurts me alot to know that we are no longer a family.<P>Come here read with an open mind, believe that marriages can be restored if you follow a plan. Talk to Steve, he can help you. <P>you are a very lucky lady in your sister& having an H, who would do anything to save your family

Dave's wife,<P>Everything that I have seen your H write has been with much love, devotion and compassion for his family and especially for you.<P>I was very touched as I have been many times for what it is that Dave wrote in his post to you today.<P>Welcome to MB, browse around, lurk if you must, but be so very proud of the H that you have and the help and care that he passes out to each and everyone of us. I am sure that anyone reading has gained from everything that your H has written.<P>Dawn

Dave's wife,<P>This is a place of hope, and strength, and compassion, and helping, and spirituality, populated by good people. In fact some of the best people i have ever come across.<P>You are right to worry about some of what happens on the internet.<P>But, this site represents everything that is right with the internet, not everything that is wrong. This site brings people together to share.

Dear Mrs. Dave,<P>Forgive me for not being able to refer to you by your proper name, but please understand this is all being done with the greatest amount of respect. This reference to you in no awy diminishes from your identity only helps to keep us focused on who we are speaking with. <P>I would like to welcome you to this site. Many of us come here in hopes of restoring our marriage. Learn where, what and why things have gone wrong and then how to fix it. During this painful jouney, we bare our souls and a desparate attempt to seek all the help available to save our families. Why? Because we love them, they are our life. <P>Your husband has poured out his heart shared his fears and during his pain even managed to help many. He has a fun sense of humor which I am sure you are familar with. He does often speak highly of you as a person. <P>My husband knows I post here and have sent him many posts from here. He knows that I come here for the support that I was not able to receive from him. We are learning a lot about our individual needs together and want to let you know that if you ever need to talk, vent, laugh, share an idea (or even a recipe), we will be here. Oh yes, we have done all that amongst ourselves (not sure if any of the guys shared recipes but oh well, maybe some jokes). <P>You see, this site disucsses many subjects not just the painful ones. Because life is full of many subjects and we have to deal with all of it. <P>This group is pretty much down to earth. Some of us came here and were quite skeptical at first, so if you are apprehensive, we understand. My husband is still skeptical but has learned why I come here. So there is nothing to hide but much to learn. <P>Again, I would like to welcome you to this site and hope you can even share a thought with us one day. <P>Sincerely,<BR>L.<BR>

Call me selfish, but I have never prayed for anyone on this forum except myself and my marriage. I believe in GOD and I know he can create miracles. But last night for the first time, I prayed for WAT and his marriage, instead of my own.<P>Every morning I would jump on this forum in search of good news from others in their marriage. I especially searched for WAT's latest post in hopes of good news. He has always been totally committed to saving his marriage and I sincerely feel for him and his pain. He has always been here helping others even in his time of need.<P>This morning I jumped on in search of some good news or even a miracle and I found this post. I hope that this is the miracle that I prayed for last night. WAT so desperately needs a miracle. This is an incredible sign even though it may not be the miracle. Forgive me, I'm just teary-eyed.<P>Mrs.WAT: <BR>Give your marriage a second chance. You deserve it and WAT deserves it and your son deserves it! WAT has come here and has gained knowledge into this situation as we all have. We are all at fault in these situations. No one is the exception. WAT has grown with us. Please give it a try. It will be the best decision you'll ever make, not only for you and WAT but for your SON as well...<P>This is a post that I just read written by your husband...<P>worthatry<BR>Member posted August 23, 2001 07:08 PM <BR>--------------------------------------------------------------------------------<BR>Khyra - As a BS, I can only provide an input from the other side. I accept responsibility for helping to create the environment that allowed my family's mess to occur. It will forever haunt me. I cannot blame this entirely on my wife. I would give anything to re-live the prelude in an attempt to cure me before it started.<BR>WAT<P> Please reconsider your husband's hand in this marriage...<P>M&J<P><BR>[This message has been edited by M&J (edited August 24, 2001).]<p>[This message has been edited by M&J (edited August 24, 2001).]

Dear WAT & Mrs.<P>When I share some of the posts here with my husband, he is utterly amazed that these are REAL PEOPLE out here with REAL LIFE DRAMA. We pray for these marriages and we believe God hears and answers our prayers. So just wanted to let you know that I too pray for your family...

To Dave's W,<P>I can't add much to what has already been said. I found this site a couple of months ago and it has been a tremendous source of encouragement, support and understanding. I have learned so much here. It has been both enlightening and humbling, but most importantly, it has allowed me to see things from the WS's perspective. <P>I hope you take the time to read some of the stories here. You'll find there are many people here just like you.<BR>I encourage you to search for posts from trueheart, seenthelight, dlm and other WS's who at one time were in your situation. If nothing else, you'll find you are not alone. <P>sad dad<BR>

Worthatry & Mrs. Worthatry, sorry for barging in here. I just want to let you know that I can understand both of your insecurities right now. I can sure understand that posting about ones private life can be perceived as violation as does an A. My suggestion is the rule of Radical Honesty. Maybe you would like to define what that means to you. <P>Support is crucial and we all would love to get all the support we need from our spouses and partners but sometimes we need to go outside. I personally have not been on this forum for very long but I can truly say it helps me to be here.<P>Good luck!<P>-she-<BR>

Mrs worthatry,<P>The first time I told my W that I had been to this site she told me that it was depressing to read this stuff. She said that part of my depression was due to reading. In a way it was, but it also helped me understand that her A could make our relationship stronger then ever if we applied some of the suggestions found at this site. <P>After I found out about the A, we both felt that we had to find someway to get through it. We had to stop and remember that we were still the best of friends. This A was one of the hardest thing I have ever had to deal with, and I am sure the hurt is not over yet. But now she, "asitshouldbe" also visits here and makes her own postings. In fact she probobly needs the group more than I do.<P>I have been using the Internet since 1994 when things were still almost all "Black and White" so to speak. Being an "Internet Vet" let me tell you, there are many things I can't stand about the Internet. Disscussion groups have always been on the top of my list as one of those things I hated about it. <P>You really have to know how to separate "Fact from Fiction" and there is Fiction here as well, but I can tell you that since my W started comming here and reading (Posting) we have found it so much easier to talk about the mess we are in. There are many couples that make postings here and it is nice to here both sides of the story when you have the chance to.<P>You will make many friends here that have familiar storys. So give it chance. It can't hurt, only help!<P>TG<P>

WAT's wife:<P>I love to beat up on WAT occasionally. But I do see him as very committed to the marriage, and I think that you two could become very successful in your marriage, should you both get on the same page.<P>WAT:<P>What the heck is it with SIL's??? When my wife was pregnant with the OM's baby, she had made an appointment at an abortion clinic. My SIL was so panicked about that (she was going along as support)---she ended up calling the OM and telling HIM what was up. D'oh!! Of course, it worked out fine in the end, so there just might be some hidden genius in there, somewhere...<P>

Mrs. Dave...<P>As one that has come to see Dave's wisdom, candor, and wit as refreshing at times, and a call for help at others, I do know from watching him grow that he has let go and relearned many qualities that make him a better/changed person, man, husband, and father. He has worked very hard at accepting the suggestions, and at times, criticisms from others. He wants simply, nothing more than his wife, his marriage, his family, and his home to come together for a second chance. We all know that he, nor any of us, is perfect, but he consistently challenges us, as well as himself to see things in a different perspective. Like others, he masks his fears and doubts in different ways with his words and actions, but he is human, and those of us that know him here, can see those fears, reactions, and doubts...mostly of losing you in his life.<P>I have been here only a short time, and there are some marriages that I have seen in here that I believed were supposed to end, WS/BS that I believed should walk away and move on. Forgive me for being abrupt here, but your marriage is not one of them. Through all that has happened, and I do not know all of the details from both sides, but Dave does love you and has been nothing but devoted to putting your marriage back together. His ways are something you may wish he could change, but his devotion and commitment to you are forthright, honest, and real. There are many here that wish their spouse would show half the resolve that Dave has in wanting to work things out. <P>I can only say that I hope you truly consider giving him, you, your son, and your future more than a casual thought before you follow through with any reactions to things. He, like me, aint perfect, but he is...worth a try!<P>*Go confidently in the direction of your dreams.*<P>Trueheart

Dear Mrs. WAT:<P>This site is about love. Love of one spouse for another. If you read here, you will see beyond a shadow of a doubt, that your husband LOVES YOU.

Thanks everyone for your wonderful words, but she won't be reading them.<P>I officially give up.<P>Dave

What did she say, Dave?

Oops, double post. <p>[This message has been edited by Nyneve (edited August 24, 2001).]

<BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by worthatry:<BR><B>Thanks everyone for your wonderful words, but she won't be reading them.<P>I officially give up.<P>Dave</B><HR></BLOCKQUOTE><P>Sorry Dave, I am guessing things did not get better today. Know that you gave it your best. Someitmes that is all you can do.<BR>

WAT, <P>I'm sorry to hear this, but only you know when you've given all you can. Keep your head up. Somewhere out there is someone who will appreciate you for the man you've become.<BR>It's a shame your W won't be able to reap the rewards of all your hard work. Thanks for all the encouragement you've given me the past couple of months. I hope we still see you here.<P>sad dad