Hi All,<BR>I found this 'recipe' in Dear Abby. After reading, please share what top qualities your spouse possesses that capture your heart!<P><B>Dear Abby:</B><BR>My marriage was in need of repair. My husband and I had been fighting a lot. He told me that if I didn't like it, I could pack my things and go. I cried myself to sleep for nights on end.<P>One night I couldn't sleep because I was so upset with him. All I could think about were all the things that bugged me about him. I knew that if I didn't banish these negative thoughts from my mind, it would be a long time before I fell asleep. I decided to think instead of all the things that I loved about him. I wrote them down on a piece of paper, put it in an envelope and placed it in his briefcase.<P>The next morning, he called me from work to tell me how much he loved me. When he came home that evening, he put my list in a frame and hung it on the wall. We hardly ever fight anymore. I get love notes weekly and kisses daily.<P>I thought some of your readers might like to try this recipe for renewed love. It was so simple--and well worth the effort. --HAPPY AGAIN IN SAN DIEGO<P><B>Dear Happy Again:</B><BR>What a terrific idea for warming up a chilly marriage. Your list of the qualities you loved about your husband obviously meant a great deal to him. When we focus only on what is wrong, we tend to undervalue what he or she is doing right.<P>------------------<BR>

He's thoughtful.<BR>Considerate.<BR>Great sense of humor.<BR>Attentive husband and father.<BR>Loving.<BR>Affectionate.<BR>In tune with my needs and emotions.<BR>Always willing to help with daily domestic things no matter how much he worked that day.<BR>Always puts me and the kids first.<BR>Devoted, committed.<BR>Loyal.<BR>Hard worker.<BR>Good provider and I dont mean that just financially.<BR>Very patienct with me and the kids, and believe me, I can test anyone's patience on any given day!<BR>Basically he's just a really sweet and fun guy to hang out with. His love for me and the kids shows constantly. It's never been anything I've ever had to question. He's never made me feel bad about myself in anyway.

When we hurt, it's easier to think of all the negatives. Good point. Mine are:<P>He's gentle and kind<BR>He treats kids and elders with respect<BR>He is very smart (4.0)<BR>He's trying very hard to help out more at home<BR>He's very good with finances<BR>He has a beautiful voice<BR>He is a christian<BR>He wants me to be happy<BR>He is a good cook (thank God)<BR>From the side, in the dark, chewing gum...he looks like Robert Redford<BR>He is nice to my friends<BR>He loves me

BTDT... thanks!<P>My H:<BR>Sweet, Considerate, Sensitive<BR>Has a very positive attitude<BR>Makes others feel good about themselves<BR>Makes others feel good about life, and whatever situation they are in<BR>Christian<BR>Respects elders<BR>Respects and admires people who have accomplished things in life<BR>Willing to listen and learn<BR>Good work ethic<BR>FUN!<BR>Beautiful singing voice<BR>Wears sharp clothes / takes pride in his appearance<BR>Great with kids<BR>Stands for what he believes in (usually )<BR>Smart<BR>Gives good massages <P><BR>oh, there's so much more, really...

you know i kept bypassing this post figuring that when i thought of some good point about my H i'd come back to it.<P>well after bypassing it about 4 times i figured id pop in to see what some of the responses are to get some ideas<P><BR>i cant think of any <BR>sorry peeps bad day

Is dependable<BR>Is very caring<BR>Hard worker<BR>Likes animals<BR>Is outdoorsy<BR>Good mom<BR>Is attractive, and well groomed<BR>Kind of funny in a pixie like way<BR>Is health concious (for the family)<BR>Loyal<BR>Likes tools, and fixing stuff<p>[This message has been edited by sad_n_lonely (edited August 24, 2001).]

Awwwe, that was so sweet what you said about your W, SnL. I think my XH would have said the same things about me. At least I hoped he would. I know one thing my XH has to miss about me, I always could make him laugh ... sometimes he'd laugh so hard he'd start crying, and he really loved that about me. I have a real knucklehead side to me, very playful.<P>I would say my XH's good points are:<P>~ Tremendously talented, artistically speaking<BR>~ Feels empathy for others<BR>~ Good sense of humor<BR>~ Passionate lover<BR>~ Open minded<BR>~ Health conscious<BR>~ Very attractive physically<BR>~ Intelligent, in an abstract sense<BR>~ WAY TOOOOOOO Charming <BR>

He is a good listener<BR>He calls me throughout the day<BR>He holds my hand<BR>He kisses good<BR>He is a good cook and cooks for me<BR>He is nice to his pets<BR>He is a good provider<BR>He is a hard worker<BR>funny<BR>good writer<BR>nice eyes<P>did I forget HONEST? Nope, he is a liar!

My H is very yielding... a quality that I can learn to embrace for myself...

I'd have to say that my husbands good points are:<BR>*Great Lover<BR>*Good Father<BR>*Hard Worker<BR>*Good Provider<BR>*Good Person<BR>*Dependable<P>I'm sorry to say that it took a separation for me to really be able to see all of these good qualities in my husband.

Good post!<P>This is the guy I married:<P>Extremely intelligent (speaks Greek, French, Korean--he recited part of the Iliad in Greek to me on our first date, I was smitten right away)<BR>He's a great father, he has been since his son was born<BR>He's professional<BR>He's a good leader and commands respect<BR>Very good-looking, always dresses nicely when he's out<BR>He's very generous and helpful<BR>To his credit, he eats everything I cook--well, usually<BR>

Fun loving<BR>passionate<BR>outgoing<BR>wants others to have as much fun as she does<BR>does not get blue if they don't<BR>helps others<BR>enjoys outdoors(boating, fishing, etc)<BR>has a good time at everything(trys to see the fun in even not so fun stuff)<BR>goes out of her way to take care of the littlest things for children<BR>works her butt off to help pay the bills<BR>enjoys a good movie(and is not affraid to cry when it is a really good movie)<BR>pushes me to improve myself(be all that I am capable of)<P>There are many more good qualities. the last one i'll mention though is.<P> SHE PUTS UP WITH MY BULLS**T<P>jd

My H puts God before me without having to point it out to me. I KNOW I come in close 2nd...

Hmm - just did this exercise but it's always good as a reminder.<P>He's got a great sense of humour.<P>He's very handy - can fix and build all sorts of things.<P>He's got a great smile and wonderful blue eyes.<P>He's a good Dad.<P>He's good at his job (when he has one - movie biz ya know)<P>He's respected in his field - people seek him for advice.<P>He's a good liar. (Oops - that's not a good quality is it? But he's proven he's good at it!! )<P>He doesn't have a temper at all! It takes a LOT to make him really angry.<P>He's an awesome lover and a strong sex drive! <P>He's pretty darn cute!

Mine is:<P>1. Strong character traits such as honesty, self control, maturity<BR>2. Witty and funny as heck<BR>3. Tall<BR>4. Smart, mentally quick<BR>5. a good handyman<BR>6. doesn't sulk too much when we go to the mall<BR>7. has an opinion on all of my clothes, makeup, etc<BR>8. good hearted<BR>9. extremely responsible - never late on a bill<BR>10. cute!!<BR>11. a FABULOUS lover<BR><p>[This message has been edited by Dana114 (edited August 25, 2001).]

OK I'm back and though things arent as well as they Could be im going to reply with my heartfelt admissions and reply to this as i would have before H's A<P>Pre A:<BR>H is a great Lover <BR>Considerate <BR>Holds me throughout the night<BR>Gives me the emotional security i want<BR>affectionate (sometimes too much)<BR>Great Singer ( he could be famous if he TRIED)<BR>Complimentative<BR>Always puts me and baby first<BR>Fun<BR>wants the best for me<BR>Loves me unconditonally<P><BR>post DDay:<P>affectionate <BR>holds me throughout the night<BR>Great singer<BR>Has Some Good days<BR>Apoligizes out of the blue for his A (on occasion)<BR>great Lover.<P><BR>i noticed that pre A there was alot more things that i loved about him.<P>and where as mose WS are rependant and more pliant to meeting needs and trying to work on the M my H has gone in the other dirrection.<P>Some days are better than others<P><BR>

My H is:<P>handsome<BR>kind<BR>patient<BR>hard working<BR>smart<BR>super helpful in the house<BR>extremely giving-will help anyone at any time<BR>affectionate<BR>loving<BR>cuddly<BR>easy going<BR>stable<BR>wonderful father<BR>humorous<P><BR>and he's all mine <P>------------------<BR>*heartache*<P>"Life's A Dance<BR>You Learn As You Go.<BR>Sometimes You Lead<BR>Sometimes You Follow!<BR>Don't worry 'Bout What You Don't Know<BR>LIfe's A Dance <BR>You Learn As You Go."

Good Idea BTDT, <BR>It's interseting to see how much I agree with other's feelings about there S. <BR> My H is<BR>~ a good father<BR>~ Patient<BR>~ ssssooo very positive<BR>~ calm and easy going<BR>~ Very thoughtful and considerate<BR>~ Sweet<BR>~ Loyal<BR>~ Has great morals<BR>~ Good at what he does (law enforcement)<BR>~ Can't sing even though we met in choir (long story)but has a great choice in music<BR>~ So very handsome and sexy. woot! woot!<BR>~ passionate lover, with mind blowing sex every time <BR>~ has the funniest sense of humor, more like a smart a$$<BR>~ Very handy. Works on the car,house and our marriage<BR>~ Cooks great on B.B Q. (only)<BR>I wouldn't trade him in for all the money in the world.Sherry <p>[This message has been edited by Keep Smiling (edited August 25, 2001).]

She is...<P>Funloving<BR>Spontaneous<BR>Smart<BR>Has a great smile<BR>knows me better than anyone<BR>Challenges me to think<BR>Respectful of others<BR>A great conversationalist <BR>She has beautiful long black hair (Think Pocahantas)<BR>She makes me laugh<BR>gives great massages<BR>A talented artist <BR>Has a great singing voice (everyone seemed to think that was important!)<BR>She can cook, really good when following the recipe!<BR>hardworking<BR>giving<BR>Honest<BR>Challenges me to be a better man everyday, I am thankful to her for that!<P>This sure gets easy when you really start to look at all the great things that attracted you to that person in the first place. <BR>I am a WS and I cannot help but wonder in all of this..."WHAT WE'RE YOU THINKING?" <BR>Thanks for the post BTDT!<P>

Ok, I'll give it a shot, It's been a bad week so I have to do some thinking. She came up with a great response for me, I hope I can compare. <P>My wife is my best friend,<BR>She is the best mother for my kids,<BR>She knows more about me than anyone else, and still loves me <BR>She is beutiful, long brown hair (almost to her but)<BR>I have to agree with her, the sex is soooo great,<BR>She is a good cook when she gives it time and effort,<BR>I know more about her than anyone else, even the A, and I still love her very much.<P>Thanks BTDT<BR>